Four in the Bed

2003-03-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

We're MOVING!
Finally! I've been taking loads of stuff over to the new place for the past week or so and when Josh has been off work he's done some of the things I can't do like installing the washer/dryer and closetmaid stuff. I think on Sunday we will start taking some furniture over but Im not sure if I want to start with the beds or end with the beds (which would take another week possibly). I hope the transition will go smoothly for the kids and I feel hopeful that it will because they are already there everyday and many of their toys are there already. (I'm not thrilled about not having a garage there, but we'll figure out something to keep things like the bikes safe.) We are eating some meals there as well and Megan is seeming to warm up to the changes that are coming. Yesterday we were there all day long doing stuff and it was hard on Dawson but I think once the beds are there and we are settled instead of going back and forth so much, he will do better. If he isn't adjusted soon I won't be surprised because I'm not sure I will adjust all that quickly. lol

When he wakes up, we are going to Target to look for a pantry cabinet to help me with the lack of storage this house has. I found one online that I like but I want to look in a store or two before I order.

My FIL had his prostate removed (I think totally) a little over a week ago and is doing better. He had a rough couple of days after coming home from the hospital but is out walking around in the nice weather a few times a day and is keeping busy by cleaning out all his drawers. I think they got rid of 1/2 their clothes this week. lol I've done a lot of that too lately. I think I've taken 4 van loads to Christian Ministries in the past couple of months.

Dawson has grown an inch in 2 months and looks quite a bit slimmer these days. He hasn't lost any weight though. His legs are way slimmer but his little gut still has plenty of baby fat. :) He told me this morning "moo" when I asked what the cow said. IT wasn't clear but I knew. :) He still doesn't say much more than "UH" though. ITs frustrating for me and for him too. I hope his little tounge will loosen up soon. Megan is the same. Shes way too smart for her own good though. ITs so funny to hear the things she says and the processes she comes up with for things. Something that I think is funny...the one tv personality (if you want to call him that) that she knows is "Benny Hinn Misteries" (ministries). lol

Well, D just woke up so its off to target now.

2003-01-29T14:03:00.000-05:00

Wow! Its been awhile!
Lots has happened. Josh took that job in huntersville and when he got there, the job didn't even exsist yet and they wanted him to be a salesman for an undisclosed amount of time while they worked on getting it. Turns out, the owner was fighting the position, as was the Gen. Mgr. so who knows when it would have come about. Josh quit on Friday of the same week and went back to Valley. I believe God used that to get Jody out of J's life as well as to teach Josh what he was taking for granted at Valley. He has been back almost a week and is WAY happier than he was in huntersville driving that distance and not seeing us much. J's dad is having surgery on Feb. 25 for his prostate cancer so they want us in the house before then and that is another reason J didn't want to be working an hour away. I believe that we will still be out of debt at the end of the year regardless of where Josh is working so I'm not upset to lose the salary he would have made as a manager. There is a reason for everything.

Megan has decided she doesn't like black people based on 3 men who delivered some furniture to my mom yesterday. They weren't dressed horribly or anything, but admitadly they looked very different than what she is used to seeing. (not that she has been sheltered in the slightest, we just don't have any black friends...maybe we need to be like George on Seinfeld and look for some. lol) Anyway, they scared her and despite our trying to convince her that God made them the way they are and that they are just like us, she has her mind made up that they are scary. I don't know what to do. She has a black bible study teacher and today she said she didn't want to go to BSF because her teacher was black. She did go though and finally let my mom leave her in her class. SHe said she had a good time and will go back next week. How frustrating though. I hope she will forget about being scared of the men in mom's house. They were very nice and polite men and except for the peek-a-boo butt crack on one of them, there wasn't anything strange about them. (well, I don't consider the braided hair strange, but to a 3 year old it may have been...who knows.) I just hope she doesn't decide to say something in public like my older sister did when she was M's age..."My mom told me about you people!" (blushing icon needed here)

D has a piece of enamle that has come off his tooth in front. It was the strangest thing to see it gone when it had been there earlier in the day. All of a sudden it was gone. I'm not worried about it right now. Megan needs to see a dentist though soon. SHe is 3 now and hasn't been yet! Her birthday was fun and full of ballerinas and princesses. She got some Angelina Ballerina stuff. I called a local studio about classes for her and it will be about $200 to start up. We don't have that right now so thankfully she isn't begging for them. She still loves gymnastics. D isn't talking at all still. Besides mama and dada, his words are all baby blabber still. After my sister checked his hearing the first time and he failed, a few days later he passed when she checked again. SO, from that I can figure that based on the amount of congestion in his head at any time, his ears may be plugged up or not, possibly effecting his hearing. Thankfully its not a constant thing though.

I have baby lust and told Josh if he would take me last night, I could get pregnant. LOL He wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole after that. I know we need to wait...its hard. lol

I don't know who said that 2 year olds are hard. I think 3 is WAY worse! Her will is Iron strong and won't bend for anything when she gets her mind on something. SHe won't even stop long enough to listen to a compromise. All she hears is "no" or "not right now" and shes off the deepend. Its a severe pain. I try to remember all the good things about a strong willed child...are there any? lol

2003-01-05T14:13:00.000-05:00

We just got back last night after spending 4 dyas at the beach. We had a great time and it was really relaxing not to have to do too much. We did cook in most meals in, but we got out some too. We went the first morning to the ocean and Megan took off her shoes and socks and we let her walk in the water some. It got really windy while we were there though so we left and went to Wendy's for lunch. The next day we had promised to buy Megan a new helmet since I ran her's over so we found a wal mart and got her a new set. That afternoon while D napped, I got to see "Two Weeks Notice" with my sister and mom. The next day my sister's family was leaving so we hung around all morning and then Josh took Megan to the Alligator Adventure Park. They had a really good time there too. The trip down was really pretty easy despite being in the middle of the night. I had to pee really bad once and couldn't find anywhere open so I peed in a diaper which was pretty funny. I sat there for several minutes not able to go because it just wasn't natural to pee that way. Then when I started, I couldn't stop and got scared that I would over flow the diaper. All was fine though thankfully. THe trip home was in the day time and was a bit more stressful but not too bad. I'm really glad we got to go. The last time we went on vacation was almost 2 years ago. We are planning to go to the outer banks this summer and then next year at this time we hope to go to Charleston, SC. WE weren't that pleased with the resort we chose this time because they didn't have an indoor pool or a pool available to us despite the fact that they told us there was one. The rooms were nice and big but the ammenities in the room weren't as good as others we have stayed in. I can't complain though. We had an almost free vacation.

2002-12-28T13:52:00.000-05:00

Christmas was fun and not very stressful at all despite cleaning the house from top to bottom on tuesday because family was coming over for brunch on CHristmas morning. It was amazing how much mess just a small pile of presents could make, but flylady came out and got the house whipped back into shape on wed. night. I also packed up 2 garbage bags of stuff that no one plays with and there is more to come when I have more time. Everyone just left for Myrtle Beach and Josh and I decided to go down as a family when he gets off work on tuesday. Hopefully it won't be too late when he gets off. Mimi got in a fight with a cactus when no one was looking this morning and I keep pulling pokies out of her body. My BIL was supposed to be watching her and I looked outside and there she was...not that she hasn't been told before. Poor girl.
My sister is an audiologist and she checked D's hearing this morning...he has fluid in both ears and failed the hearing test in both ears. :( I guess if he fails again before they go home next week I will take him to the dr to make sure everything is ok. Josh starts at the new dealership on the 6th in the sales department but they dont think it will take long to transition him into the new position. THey have to convince the owner they need him, but neither manager feels it will be a problem since the guy doing it now isn't really able to give any attention to the store in huntersville because the store in Charlotte needs him too much. I'm not bothered by him selling down there though because the salesmen there make twice what Josh has been making, and it won't be too long...anyway, YAY! Another answered prayer.
After D wakes up, I'm going out to look for party stuff for M's birthday and 2 helmets. M's helmet was going to be given to D, but somehow it got under the van this morning and isn't worth 2 cents anymore. :( Always something. LOL

2002-12-20T13:26:00.000-05:00

Well, we decided not to buy the Impala. There were too many reasons that I kept coming up with why I didn't want a car and low and behold, yesterday (after getting D's cast off) there were 3 2002 Chrysler Town and Countries sitting outside that had just been delivered. I told Josh to find out about them and call if it looked like something we wanted. Well, I had no sooner walked in the door and Josh was calling to tell me to come back. I put the kids back in the car and we flew back to the store and drove home a sage green one. :D Its just a little more expensive but I feel so much better driving it and it suits our needs more. Josh of course is happy that I am happy but quite dismayed that we are buying a Chrysler product. LOL (It is still under warrenty and has way less miles on it than the Impala had. It was a former rental car though as well.)

The other good news, and please pray for this to happen soon, Josh had a job interview on wednesday here. They just opened this new place and are going to need a manager to do only inventory. This move would really solve our problems. There are some draw backs, the biggest being that it will be an hour commute, but JOsh is going to ask if he can have a monday-friday schedule and be off on weekends. If not that, maybe he can have sunday and monday off and it would still be like a long weekend. It looks like the job is his, but we don't know now when he will start. All he knows is that it will be after the beginning of the year. He should get more info from his friend that works there now this weekend. I'm so excited and have already come up with a first draft of a budget. (we have never been able to plan a budget because we live from week to week most of the time) I am going to start a pretty heavy savings plan for us and one for each of the kids. We will also pay off our debt and other than the van, I know that will happen pretty quickly once we can actually throw a little extra their way every month. :) If he likes it there, maybe we can plan to move down there after we are out of debt and have some good savings to put down on a house. Mimi is on my lap now and wants to go look at maisy so I'm off!

2002-12-15T13:26:00.000-05:00

As if we needed anything else to happen, we've had another trying morning. We got ready and went to church this morning and all went normally until we got into the big golf-cart shuttle that takes us from the end of the parking lot to the front door. We were riding up the hill and the air was blowing in so I reached up to pull the zipper down on the flap when Megan fell out the side. We think her knees were run over, but she is just fine and if we hadn't already checked in at the ER, we would have just left because after the shock and all wore off, she was running around and acting normally thank God! One of the ministers at the church tracked us down and came up and waited with us and filled out an accident report and now we're at my parents house because Josh is gonna do some yard work. THere was another Thomas incident though when we got there. Daddy asked him to be quiet while I brought Dawson in and he continued to run his mouth so I said "SHHH!" and then "Can you not just be quiet?" and he threw a big 5 year old temper tantrum and Josh tracked him down where he proceeded to call me a Bitch and Josh proceeded to throw him across the hood of his car. I wish that hadn't happened obviously but this crap has gone on way too long. He respects no one and doesn't care about anyone els'es feelings. I did manage to get D back to sleep but I wasn't sure I would for a bit and Megan did end up waking up. Ugh! WHat a day!

2002-12-13T13:18:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about the past 2 or so years online lately and have come to the realization that I have wasted so much of my life online. I'm not saying at all that noone matters to me and that I've wasted my life on you. If you matter to me, you know it. All my mama-sister's are not included, nor are most of the matrix mamas. WHen I say I have wasted my life on it, I am refering to all the drama, gossip and other garbage that has sucked so much of my time away from my family. I'm so glad I am able to come to the place where none of it matters. I have not officially left yaaps, but am no longer an active member there and I noticed some more has come up regarding the anon feature but haven't even cared to go look. I just don't have time to be sucked in to all of that. I have also suffered in my spiritual life and I like the way things are for me right now. This may sound strange to those of you who don't consider yourselves Christian, but I have been reading my Bible every day and feel a real relationship with my Heavenly Father now. I also am more involved with the kids in church than I ever was before and that is wonderful. Megan sang with the preschool chior on Wed. night and it was hilarious. I am sick of losing all that time I spent online and have more to give to them. I also feel my anger/rage issues disappearing. I stay more patient and I yell a LOT less. I'm not even sure I care about having the internet back on for the time being. I do miss being able to look up stuff on a whim (like the time D had hand/foot/mouth and I was able to get online and id it right away or study up on things like the Ezzo's to send to people like I did with my friend.). I also miss chatting occasionally with many of you, but life will change and settle down soon and I'm sure we'll get it turned back on eventually. I guess none of this really matters a whole lot, but I wanted to update on that part of my life.

Now to the fun stuff. There is a 2001 Chevy Impala sitting in the driveway right now. I am just test driving it at the moment but Josh decided to turn in an application so we should know something soon. Its pretty basic, but it drives nice, has a lot of room in the backseat and trunk and its priced well. I haven't heard back from Josh but I think its something we could sell easily or trade out of later on down the road. Oh and its silver. :) I really wanted a mini van but we haven't been able to find anything. THe one I wanted got sold by another salesman out from under me and everything else has been too expensive and since Josh is insistant that we buy where he works (which I can understand), there isn't much option. Anyway, I've prayed about this car and I feel at peace about it so if its meant to be, we will be approved and if its not, I'm not sure what we will do, but we will have something soon one way or another.

2002-12-10T16:09:00.000-05:00

Man, its been awhile! My mom was having computer problems too so I've been offline for quite awhile. The biggest news right now is that Dawson fell off the couch the other night and broke his wrist. Of course it happened on the worst night of the year (weather wise) but we got it taken care of and he's doing fine. He wriggled out of the first cast and we had it redone yesterday. They gave him Tylenol with Codien at the hospital to help calm him down and it made him loopy but wired him so he didn't sleep for many hours that night. Otherwise things have been great with him. My FIL was diagnosed with prostate cancer the very next day but they caught it very early and I'm sure things will be fine for him too.

The lease on my blazer is up tomorrow and I don't have a vehicle still. I'm not going to worry until we have to drive that blazer in and we don't have something to take home.

Thats the big news for us at the moment. I hope to get back over here tomorrow and catch up with everyone else. I sure miss everyone!

2002-11-29T14:03:00.000-05:00

AH, I think I am actually done with shopping for my kids. If I buy anything else, it will be stocking stuffers for Dawson. I was going to go in 1/2 for a wagon for Dawson, but my IL's found a really nice wooded side one for only 40$ so I got him a tricycle this morning at Target. He has been wanting to get on M's bike for awhile now so hopefully he will like this instead. I got Megan a Barbie this morning and some fabric to make both kids an outfit for Christmas and Megan an outfit for her Birthday to go along with her Angelina Ballerina book and puppet. :)

Thanksgiving was really nice. My family and J's family all ate together at his parents house and Megan got to play with her older cousin Emily. They had a ball putting on makeup and reading books and playing house. Dawson was upset a lot because (as Josh puts it) "he is short." lol He wants to be big but I didn't feel right about putting them in charge of him too so he got to be with the adults. I don't know what possessed me to shop today but we did and it was fun as well as frustrating and now mom is upset because she lost her watch. I did get Dawson's trike though so it was good that we went (for me anyway.)

I'm a little concerned about Dawson's not talking. He is 15 months old tomorrow and still says no more than mama, dada and aye (Hi). He only says mama and dada when he really wants to and I know his hearing is fine because he answers me with a nod or shake of his head. I'm going to give him a few more months and then I might ask for some help through the resource center to see if I can get him talking. He is at least babbling and he does it a lot when he really wants to. Maybe he will just be a quiet person (which would actually be nice if it counterbalanced Megan. haha) Speaking of Megan, she has learned to do a backbend and a cartwheel.

I don't know if anyone is even reading my blog anymore but I hope you havent given up on me. I've tried to post a few times and can't get mom's computer to do it. Here goes nothing...

2002-11-09T14:05:00.000-05:00

Mom and I just got back from shopping for our Samaritan's Purse shoe-box stuff. I wish I had gone with my first instict and stayed home. By the time my mom got herself ready (keep in mind I had showered, dressed and fed both kids and called her before I started so she could get ready and I still had to wait on her) it was getting close to 11 and we saw some yard sales to stop at. Those were a waste of time. WE went to the dollar tree and mom had to pick through everything they had in the store I think. D was tired, I was hungry and it took forever. WE went over to Tony's for a slice of pizza and then came home finally. Megan has allergies and D has a cold that isn't getting any better. :(

I don't think I'm going to get Megan the cash register toy. It goes against all I believe in and she is getting Barbie stuff that will thrill her to no end so I've changed my mind. My mom is getting her an itty bitty baby from American Girl and I think I'll make her (or buy) a sling to go with it. I'm getting in the mood finally for the holidays to return.

I thougth it would be hard to live without yaaps and blogging everyday but it really hasn't been. I miss my friends at mamasis the most and wish I could keep up with them more with chatting. Phone calls are so expensive but I guess I'll be doing more calling until we get the computer running again.

2002-11-06T13:08:00.000-05:00

Ah shit. BLogger ate my post.

Still around, still no modem. Megan is on her way to see Veggie Tales and is very excited. We should be moving at the end of the month. I"m packing already. We have a new sherriff finally and mom won her seat back on the school board.

2002-10-29T12:50:00.000-05:00

I'm NOT pregnant!!! I was 11 days late and sure the whole time that I wasn't but Josh sure was relieved to have proof lol!

I have a little more done on Megan's dress and if I can keep getting to work on it a few days a week for 30-45 min here and there I should have it done by the end of November. This Cinderella dress is her main Christmas presnent so I want it to be perfect and I'm going to make the headband and find her some fancy dress up shoes to go with it. She has also found a cash register set in the Disney catalog that she says she wants really bad. I'm torn. Its only $25 but it has a credit card thing with it which I don't want her to have. I have thought about calling it a library card or her princess club card or something like that. I'm not sure what I'll do yet. Josh wants to buy her at least 1 "real toy" so I'll probably give in. I still don't have any ideas on something to make for Dawson yet. I want to have a tradition of making them something each year that they can keep. Last year Josh built their train table (a small one) and I put together a huge art kit for Megan and found a table and 2 chairs at a yard sale that I fixed up for her. I want to get Dawson a wagon too but can't afford the whole thing so I have talked to Terri about us splitting up the cost some so we can get him a nice one. A friend of mine said you can find them in new or close to new condition at the flea market so I"m going to check into going that route and trying to save some $.

Josh and his dad started on the laminate flooring in the living room on Sunday. THey didn't get very far though because they claimed it took a long time to get started. I'm not sure if it really took a long time or if they just didn't have a clue what they were doing and it took that long to figure it out. Who knows. THey should finish the living room by the weekend and then they have the hallway to do. The kitchen still needs linoleum and the plummer needs to come back (which can happen any time now) to connect all the bathrooms and the kitchen. The last thing will be the mouldings and then the remaining wooden floors need to be refinished. That is the very last thing though because those rooms are being used still for construction stuff. I think we will be moving by the end of November. (although I have thought we would be moving soon for a very long time).

2002-10-23T10:51:00.000-04:00

My hair is now really dark with streaks of red in it. I love it, its exactly what I wanted! I am getting mixed reviews of it though (although I could care less). Megan said it looked a little funny, mom (who I knew would hate it) said it was too red but Josh (who really matters) said he really liked it. He has never cared what I did to my hair and I am so thankful for that. It really bugs me to hear women say they can't cut their hair because their husband doesn't like it short (or colored or whatever). I have nothing against marital submission, but when its about me, I ask his opinion if I care for it and then do what I like.

My period seems to be missing which has Josh worried. We had unprotected sex once but I am positive I wasn't ovulating. I don't feel pregnant but I'm a week late and wishing I had kept up better with my cycle. I'm giving myself to the weekend and then I'll probably test. I should have kept my damn mouth shut about not repeating last time a few weeks ago. I talked to Courtney and there are some things that were going on during the times when I would have normally ovulated that could have pushed it back and I feel like that is probably what happened but I am sick of this nagging feeling in my gut that I don't know. If I am, this will be the last baby for us. Josh will get a vas because I cannot risk that happenening again. Anyway, I'll keep you updated.

Josh is downstairs hauling off trash out of my parents basement for them. He has to go to work in awhile so I'll take the kids and go home. Its COLD today and I am feeling like a big pot of pintos. :) Its been a slow month for him at work and a little discouraging too. I hope he can keep his head clear and stay focused on selling.

Megan is drawing faces. She draws a very good circle for the head and then either 2 dots for eyes or 2 smaller circles for eyes and then a dot for the nose and a smiley mouth. I am very impressed. (but of course). Dawson still isn't talking very much but I see improvement in his babbling so I am not worried. I've been told that boys can take longer to mature in this way so I feel he is still within normal range. He is such a sweetie though. He loves to cuddle which I am happy for because Megan never would let anyone do that with her. (unless she was nursing of course.)

I need to go check on D, he's sleeping downstairs. later

2002-10-16T13:36:00.000-04:00

me again. I can't believe the amount of clutter my parents live with. They have a king size bed and when mom goes to bed at night she pushes the junk to the middle of the bed. There is stuff sticking out of every nook and crany of the computer desk. There is stuff piled underneath the computer desk and beside the computer desk. There is stuff piled on top of the file cabinet (which is not full) and beside the file cabinet. THere is stuff all over the floor next to the bed and computer desk and dresser...this isn't half of it. She has stuff (at least stacked neatly) in a bookshelf, and 2 file cabinets (5 drawers total) and 2 white file crates and then there is downstairs which I haven't touched. I can't believe this. No wonder I have a problem with having a place for everything.

2002-10-16T09:47:00.000-04:00

I tried to update last time I was at my parents but I couldn't get Blogger to work that day. I think it was last Friday. Anyhoo, I called Mina last weekend and thats the only online contact (sorta) that I have had in awhile. We have all been sick since Monday. Actually I felt it come on on Sunday but on mon I felt like a truck had run me over. Today I'm feeling much better and the kids are acting better too. Just some lingering cough. Josh went to the race on Sunday and its a wonder he isn't sick too as much as it rained that day. My house has fallen apart in the past couple of days so I hope to get it squared away and I'm going to do some cleaning here at my mom and daddy's this morning because they need to have an appraisal done soon. I don't know where to start. Mom and Megan are at BSF this morning and then mom leaves for the rest of the week to go to a school board seminar in Asheville. Daddy has an appt in Asheville tomorrow too but I guess he'll be going alone. I would go but I don't know what I would do with the kids in a dr. office...its not possible I think. FIL has been off work and working on our house this week. Josh is helping him today. It doesn't look like it will take that much more work for us to move in, its just going to take the time. I'm tired of waiting tbh.
The modem we bought isn't loading for Josh. My computer savy friend is going to have a look at it one of these days. She just hasn't had the time and we've been sick so maybe next week.

If you haven't seen A Walk To Remember, go rent it today! I always passed it over because of the reaction I have when I see Mandy Moore, but she did a great job and I didn't have any tics until I watched the music video they added to the dvd. lol I called the library and got on the list to read the book. I wasn't that impressed with Message In a Bottle so I didn't read that one. Maybe the book was better, who knows. I'm not a big book reader but I have also read The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood during my hiatus and it was WONDERFUL! I can't wait for that one to come out on video.

I'm off to clean out my inboxes and get to work on this house. ciao!

2002-10-05T11:45:00.000-04:00

Finally an update...I hope this time.
We got a new tv and vcr/dvd combo thanks to the insurance company. We also got a new modem but it isn't installed yet. Hopefully that will come pretty soon. A friend of ours is going to do it and I'm hoping he can also look and see if he can figure out why we are having problems with the hardrive too. We love the tv and dvd tons! It is such an improvement on what we had and we spent way less for it than what we spent for what we had too. It was almost a blessing that it happened. :p

The kids are well. Megan has a cough but nothing major unless you ask one of the grandmothers. (big eye roll) Dawson is toddling all over the place and looking so much bigger than I want him to. In a lot of ways he is still so much more a baby than Megan was at this age though. I was 2 months pg with Dawson when she was this age. Thank God I am not repeating that again. (not that I'd change a thing now!) Megan has decided that she wants to be a ballerina. SHe is into everything ballet and shes a hoot too. A real prima donna in the making. :)

The break from the computer has been really good for me. I am getting way more done in the day, we are getting out earlier and going more places. I have made myself a notebook and have a detailed schedule that I put EVERYTHING in. I even schedule time for sewing or cleaning and it makes certain I get everything done. I am doing better at planning meals and such too.

My daddy isn't doing well at all. As soon as I get moved (by the end of the year we hope, we've been set back again, but thats fine, I'm too busy with the kids to even want to pack anything yet) I'm going to work as much as I can to help my parents get their house ready to sell in the spring. They need something smaller without steps for daddy. He shouldn't be going up and down. He fell on Sunday and when I saw him a few days later I could see that he had really gashed his leg. :( He's nothing but skin and bones anymore and hardly eats anything either. I"m concerned about him.

Dawson is wanting my attention now. We want to go to Sam's club but he is acting cranky yet won't sleep. Maybe he will give in and sleep soon. Maybe lunch would help...where has this day gone?

2002-10-02T13:11:00.000-04:00

shit. I just posted an update but Blogger ate it. oh well. :(

2002-09-23T10:16:00.001-04:00

It rained all day Sunday.
Thunderstorm killed our tvs.
Ruined connection to my modem as well.
We have no entertainment in the house.
Poor us! :(

2002-09-23T10:16:00.000-04:00

It rained all day Sunday.
Thunderstorm killed our tvs.
Ruined connection to my modem as well.
We have no entertainment in the house.
Poor us! :(

2002-09-22T10:25:00.000-04:00

Part 2
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?

Toy Story2-Christmas Day 1999

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

I can't remember the name but its a book about praying for your kids. (nak)

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Monopoly

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

Mothering

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?

lavendar, vanilla and Mulberry

6. FAVORITE SOUNDS?

children laughing, silence

7. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?

I have to pee!

8. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Taco Bell

9. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

family and living every day like it could be my last

10. FINISH THE STATEMENT, "IF I HAD LOTS OF MONEY I WOULD..."

Build my dream house in the mountains as well as a smaller house on the same land for my parents to move into.

11. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?

usually

12. STORMS... COOL OR SCARY?

cool

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

1984 Toyota Tercel 4 speed

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

green or purple

15. FINISH THE STATEMENT..."IF I HAD THE TIME, I WOULD LOVE TO...":

Take enrichment classes (sign language, baking, sewing, quilting, knitting...someday)

16. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?

occasionally

17. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Not sure, I'm itching to try something outrageous so if I could get the guts up to do it, maybe some orange streaks (not day-glo orange though)

18. GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

half full

19. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN?

I've never lived in a "city" but I've lived in 3 different towns

20. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?

couch

21. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

baseball

23. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?

luggage

2002-09-20T21:32:00.000-04:00

Boy have there been some emotions in this house tonight! Megan was on my very last nerve and it was crumbling quickly! Shes been whining non-stop all evening. Dawson was asleep by 8pm because he hardly napped today and she managed to wake him up an hour later as she screamed her head off over the boundaries I was giving her. I can't stand the way she paws at me while she nurses. On top of that she has started kinda biting on me and it hurts and leaves marks. I insisted she open wider and she insisted that she wasn't going to so I put her in the floor where she tantrummed. I had to go get D back to sleep and Josh eventually got Megan out of the living room. He got her calmed down but refused to hold her until she stopped screaming. That doesn't work for me but I guess there isn't any harm done in having a different method. After a few minutes she came in and told me she was sorry and gave me a kiss. Then her and daddy laid down on the couch for a book and she was out cold within a few minutes. I guess its another case of full moon syndrome.

My MIL bought me a bottle of Emeril's Roasted Garlic spagetti sauce yesterday. I really liked it but Josh wasn't impressed and Megan said it burned her tongue. oh well, more for me. lol

2002-09-20T16:07:00.000-04:00

Found this at Laura's:
urvey I found online to help you know me just a little better:

How often do you cry?
as often as I need too.

What makes you cry the easiest?
One of my kids crying and money issues.

What makes you really happy?
my family, time alone to sew or crochet

Has anyone close to you ever died?
A woman from church that I knew and loved died suddenly of an anuerism a few years ago, a few people I knew in high school died and that was hard to deal with.

Has anyone close to you ever committed suicide?
no but my maternal grandfather did way before I was born.

How many funerals have you been to?
lots, can't remember exactly

Have you ever cried over the death of a celebrity?
No

What would be the scariest way to die?
Falling

What do you do in your spare time?
sew, crochet, surf the web and read

What are some of your favorite restaurants?
Ruby Tuesdays, McGuffys and Red Lobster

What time do you wake up in the morning?
7-8

What is your natural sleeping pattern?
On my side holding a pillow smooshed between 2 children or one child and the edge of the bed.

What made you decide to have sex for the first time?
I was married. lol

Were you in love?
yes!

What's your preferred method of birth control?
right now condoms but they aren't really prefered, just used.

Have you ever had a one-night stand?
no

How many rooms does your house have?
7 rooms. Our new house will have 7 as well except here we have a dining room and our other house's extra room is a play/school/sewing room. 2 baths and 2 bedrooms each.

What would be your ideal living arrangement?
A log house on acreage in the mountains or on a farm in Michigan.

How many times have you moved in your life?
3 that I participated in. once when I was a baby.

What city/state would you like to live in?
Michigan

Have you ever lived on your own?
Never

What do you do on weekends?
Saturdays are just another day of the week. Sundays we go to church and spend time with family.

Do you enjoy alone time?
in the rare moments when I get it, yes!

If you were stranded at home for a weekend without a computer or a TV, what would you do to entertain yourself?
turn off the phone and sew

What is one thing you would love to learn?
knitting

If there were a book about your life, what would it be called?
I don't know right now.

What word or phrase best describes your sense of style?
safe (but I'm working on that)

What's your favorite article of clothing?
tan capris

Describe a typical outfit you'd wear to work/school.
low rise blue jeans with kahki stretch button up shirt OR tan capris with navy babydoll tee

What fashion "season" are you?
fall

How long does it take you to get ready to go out on the weekend?
fifteen minutes

Sum up your life right now in 5-10 words:
full of blessings and challenges

Current mood:
a little down

Current music:
Veggie Tales Sunday School songs (not my choice of course. lol)

Current taste:
water

Current hair:
darl blond chin length and flipped up on the end.

Current annoyance:
budget

Current scent:
lavender

Current meaningless thought:
where are my groceries going to come from

Current longing:
For Megan to quit whining at me.

2002-09-20T12:09:00.000-04:00

I dont' know why I try
I was looking at the classified adds this morning and noticed 3 jobs that the welfare lady's husband might be interested in. She was online so I IM'ed her and told her and asked if he would be interested in them. She says "maybe, I'm not sure." So I said, "Does that mean he might have found something?" She says "no, I'm just not sure how motivated he is anymore." How many more reasons do you need to be motivated if you have 2 kids and a wife living on food stamps and govt assistance and living in crisis housing? The real thing that gets me is that he has a career. He is a mechanic specializing in diesel trucks afaik and one of the jobs was for an experienced diesel mechanic. I am feeling like I have helped this family all I can and need to move on. She invited us to a birthday party at her house but I'm feeling like we won't go. I know its a shitty attitude on my part but there are more reasons than just this one.

I woke up with a horrible pain in my jaw this morning. I need to see if MIL has any passionflower pills. I hope I'm not grinding my teeth at night. I've not been feeling stressed about anything so I don't know why I would unless it was subconsiously over the check that bounced this week. I'm not sure where it happened either but I wasn't feeling that worried about it in general. My bite splint is going on 7 years old and is in really bad shape so I know that alone could be the reason I'm in pain. I hope I can afford to do something about it fairly soon.

I went through some old bookmarks the other night in my "Natural Parenting" file. I threw out everything but Yaaps, Complete Mother and MamaSis. I decided to check on a few of them though beforeI dumped them and was shocked what I found out at Mango Mama. I guess I'm behind on that whole drama (not that I was ever a regular there, I did enjoy her journal and checkd out a few boards sometimes). Evidently at the beginning of July, she left her husband and her kids and ran off with some boyfriend to live in a tent in the woods. She left them with no food and little belongings and someone posted (how they know I don't know, it sounded like they might have talked to Jen's husband) that she had been leaving the kids at home alone for some time to go off with this guy. How sick and sad is that? If she is going through mental problems I hope she gets help for her family's sake. Regardless of whether her and her dh get back together, her kids still need her.

2002-09-18T23:59:00.000-04:00

Megan went to church tonight with Josh! We were all going to go because the message was going to be on the Biblical POV on war and Josh wanted to hear it. Around 6:30 Dawson got really sleepy acting and I decided to stay home. Megan really wanted to go though so Josh took her to her class and left her with Tammy and she was fine. Hopefully this issue she has with church is over now! Dawson went to sleep though and woke up immediatly and within 30 minutes was screaming his head off. I'm not sure what the deal is. In some ways it seems like Hand Foot Mouth but there isn't any fever and so far I can't see any sores in his mouth so I'm just waiting this out.

Jay Leno just showed his "jaywalking" segment and OMG there are some morons in this country! He asked one girl who won the Civil War and she says "Geez, I don't think I was born then." Another guy was like "we did." He asked another guy if we had ever had a war with Mexico and he says "I don't know but we should." LOL

2002-09-18T12:51:00.000-04:00

How do you explain to a 2 year old that she can't play with the deceased bunny that the cat just carried down the driveway? We were sitting in the garage this morning and Megan was riding her bike while J and I ate and Dawson walked around. In runs the cat with a bunny rabbit and he climbs under my blazer with it. He proceeds to play with it and Megan thinks this is hilarious and wants to play too. GAG! She was really depressed that we wouldn't let her play too. I really wish she would nap right now but she refuses as her daddy is home.
Josh is doing all the yard work for the dealership now. Sunday he has to mow, spread mulch and cut down a few small trees. He will be paid nicely though and said he would let me take some and get some clothes or fabric to make me a few things for winter. Everything from last year is either falling off of me or pretty close to it. :)

I found an intersting site this morning when I was navigating the Made by Mom webring. Its a commentary on Breastfeeding in the Bible. She says that Moses, Samuel and Isaac were all weaned at around age 5 and that Isaac had a weaning party when that happened. Josh and I had the discussion the other night about how long I intended to let Megan nurse. At this point I am comfortable with 4. I want her to wean by the time she is 5. I am just feeling all kinds of icky these days because she wants to nurse everytime Dawson needs to. We have discussed the right way to ask me, the appropriate places for nursing Megan as well as that we only nurse one baby at a time when we are places like my parents or IL's house. She still just plops up on top of me and demands that she needs "booby too." Usually at home I just let her but I wonder if that is the right decision to make. This is certainly uncharted territory for most of my friends and family so saying anything remotly negative about my feelings regarding nursing her is a no-no because I'll just hear people comment that I need to wean her already. Its a shame our society wants babies to grow up so fast.

2002-09-17T21:13:00.000-04:00

Boy I am pissed!
My parents left for Michigan this morning. Mom made a big deal of making sure daddy gave her his medical records because he is supposed to be going to the cardiologist first thing in the morning for a second opinion. Well, guess what. They left them on the dresser and mom left her cell phone in the car in Charlotte with Thomas's cell phone number in it. So, I can't get in touch with Thomas (who I just found out quit another job btw!) to have him meet us or bring them to us. Josh can't sleep in in the morning because he has to get up and go strait into work to fax a mound of medical records to the dr. in Michigan and I'm just plain pissed about this. Well, I have issues about them even going up there in the first place. My sister IM'ed me this morning and said that our brother was feeling apprehensive about them going up. He should be. I'm sure he's feeling like he had no business saying the things he did about daddy in the first place and now mom feels like she has to go fix something. Of course I would have gone too if my son felt like his whole life was a waste...he definiltly needs help. H (my sis) said he had been going to counseling for a little while and she was seeing a small difference, so thats good. Megan should be asleep when they get back so Josh and I can sit down and watch a movie together and be alone for a little while.

2 more days til Survivor! WOO HOO!

2002-09-16T23:05:00.000-04:00

I hate changing seasons
Every year at spring and fall, my skin goes through horrific changes. I peel, I itch, no amount of lotions or creams help. Its all over my body. My face of course is the worst looking. If I try to put on makeup, it looks all scaley and horrid. I hate my skin! I don't know what else to try without spending way more money than I can afford at the moment. I've not tried making my own yet but I guess I should. I'm afraid of start up costs. I've tried to use olive oil for the most part all summer and its done great but it is doing nothing for this skin now!

Megan's gymnastics went well. I think she would do well in the older class though tbh. She is physically way beyond the skills they were doing today. Hopefully it was just slow because its the first class. I really hope they can do some things to challenge her. Of course I realize that her having fun is the main point, but she can have fun for free. Hell, we can have fun at home. I want her to get something out of it, yk? I plan on talking to the coach next week to see exactly what skills he plans on working on and will tell him what the other coach said to me about her last time. She still says she wants to be a ballerina :) I am going to look into lessons for dance after the first of the year.
We went to my parents house after naptime and had dinner with them. Well, just mom really. Daddy had to call the optomotrist right at 5:00 and be seen immediatly this afternoon. His eye was killing him (but he refused to let anyone take him) and it ended up that he had a cyst on his eyelid that had to be cut off. He was sent home with a patch and antibiotic ointment. On the way home I stopped to get gas and just drove on through. There were 2 men standing outside the door just loitering beside the community bulliten board. They may have been harmless but my gut told me not to get out of the car. When there is no one around, I can lock the door, engage the alarm and run in to give the clerk the money in about 20 seconds but it didn't feel right to get out and stand around pumping gas so I repected that feeling in me. I have just heard of way too many adult kidnapping/rape stories lately. {shudder} I decided I had enough gas to get home and go back tomorrow morning. The whole way home scenarios just kept running through my mind.
Josh brought home a movie for Megan. I can't think of the name and I'm too lazy to get up and look at the case, but its a muppet movie that just came out about the early years of Kermit the Frog. It was cute but at 11:00 Megan is just now in the bed. I know insisting on a nap this afternoon which turned into almost 3 hours didn't help but she was up by 7:00 and didn't go to bed until almost 10 last night. Woo Hoo for Josh though, he sold a van tonight and made a pretty penny off it. :)
I got to chat with one of my oldest friends tonight but she got cut off without warning and didn't come back. :( I have known Diana since kindergarten. I am still friends with 2 girls I went to kdg with actually. Di and I went through some wonderful and tough times together through the years. I spent my teen angsty yeas with her as well. I guess we'll have to continue catching up in email.

If anyone has seen my green music block, I need it back. Thanks! :P

2002-09-16T14:08:00.000-04:00

Gosh there sure are some whiney people out there in the internet land. Whats more frustrating though is to see people who I like being vilified and run-off because of someone else's insecurities. Long, long ago, before I figured out where I stood in the whole online alterna-world, I left a website over a situation where I felt uncomfortable. That was MY problem and I left. It shouldn't have been up to me to tell someone else how to post their thought. The people in question IMO have been VERY different these past months and I think its bullshit to tell them how to post their own thoughts. Even Kathywhatthefuck (ROFL KWK) IMO has cleaned up her potty mouth. haha

2002-09-16T09:02:00.000-04:00

Wow! we got quite a bit of rain this weekend. But it fell steadily so there weren't any flash floods (in our area anyway). A couple of weeks ago when it rained really hard one night, two enormous sinkholes fell in the parking lot of a resteraunt in Hickory. The rest. was full but only one car fell in, a brand new Corvette. With all the rain, those holes grew another 4 feet this weekend. That poor owner is probably going to have to declare bk. The city of Hickory is accepting no responsibility at this time because they didn't install the drain pipes in that area. The rest. hasn't even been open a year either. One of the holes is about 10 feet from the front door now and it looks eminent that the rest will close permanently.
It wasn't an exciting weekend by any means but I feel like I got some stuff done. I got Megan's Cinderella dress mostly cut out and ready to start on soon. Yesterday I finished painting in our bedroom and helped Josh put together the linen cabinet for our bathroom. I picked 3 small canteloupes off our vines too. One was really bitter but the other 2 taste sweet.
Megan starts gymnastics today finally! :) I'll update after that.

2002-09-14T10:06:00.000-04:00

Megan woke up at 6ish, asked for some water and then promply threw up everywhere. Nice. Thankfully she was laying in the crib/side car when it happened and not on my bed. So, she got up and laid down on the couch with her daddy for a bit and I figured that we wouldn't be going to the World Breastfeeding Walk today. Well, it was raining when I got up so I figured then that it was cancelled and a call to Sarah confirmed that so we are vegging in front of the TV waiting for Tropical Storm Hannah to dump on us. We can use the rain but I'm pretty sure we could do without a whole tropical storm. Oh well. I'll make a pot of Chili and we'll survive. :) We need groceries so I'll go to the grocery store and look like everyone else buying the bread and milk because ya know, when bad weather comes you might be stuck inside for a couple of hours and you wouldnt' want to lose power or anything so you better be well stocked with milk and bread. LOL

My parents are going to Michigan next tuesday for a week. They are going because my brother has a boo boo in his head (as Deb would say) I suspect he is manic because I've watched him cycle for years in and out of his depression. Now he is 40 and has watched his life go by and has nothing to show for himself. No wife, kids, career, nothing. I feel for him. I really do. I wish he had gotten help a long time ago and have talked with my sister about this many times in the past as he lives closer to her than anyone. I have wanted her to try to help him. I guess she has tried but its up to him of course to really help himself. He emailed my mom a few weeks ago and blamed everything on my daddy. Daddy didn't have a male role-model growing up. His dad wasn't around. He drank a lot and worked a lot and his mom ruled the roost I suppose. Actually he and his brother raised themselves for the most part. Anyhoo, he didn't know how to be a role-model because he never had one. I think he was a good and loving father but he wasn't everhthing that my brothers needed and I do feel that they might have turned out better if Daddy been a better role model to them. But, in the end, they are responsible for themselves! Daddy had no one to turn to as a child except his brother BUT, he went on to join the army and then got a teaching degree and a masters degree, a wife and 4 kids. John apparently thinks that something is owed to him and Thomas OBVIOUSLY does! I don't know what they are going to do for him in a week but they are going up to spend time with him. Daddy doesn't know he has been vilified and mom has decided to let John tell him anything he wants him to know himself which I agree with despite mom's pastor (he has family counseling training dontcha know? Hes a professional LOL) telling her that daddy should read the emails. I suggested that they ask him to move closer to us. Not with them by any means but if he is close by maybe they can work through this with a family counselor and everyone can heal. Hell, I think we ALL could benifit from this but I think my brothers and mom need it more than anyone. The dynamics in my family (while I have seen far worse) are atrocious and my mom is the worst of us all (but you better not tell her that unless you are prepared for the drama that will surely follow!). Ahh, thats another rant for another day though.

Actually I do have another rant! I just changed it over to CBS for Nick Jr Saturday morning and found some pre-teen bullshit where Bob the Builder was supposed to be! :( What happened to Saturday morning cartoons for the kids? Not everyone is privlidged enough to have Nickelodian and Disney Channel! /rant

2002-09-13T13:11:00.000-04:00

out of nowhere
In the middle of the night Megan came to bed with me and she was burning up. She nursed and I made sure she didn't get over heated. It was all I could do. She was resting fine so I didn't need to give her anything to help her be comfortable. This morning she kept talking about pooping and sat and sat and never got anything moving along so I assumed shewas constipated along with having the temp. Her temp has been as high as 102 and as low as 100. I tried to get her to use the bathroom by giving baths, offering lots of water, prune juice (she wouldnt' touch it) and bran muffins. My parents brought by the juice and muffins and mom was SO concerned about the fever. She kept telling me "you HAVE to get that down." I explained that I believed that temperatures as long as they weren't super high (104 is uncomforably hight for me) and didn't stay up for a long time were normal and were there to fight off the bug. She says "no they aren't NORMAL, you HAVE to get it down to what IS NORMAL!" Sigh. I told her that I disagreed and that I wasn't going to medicate my daughter for a less than 101* temp. They have gone home thankfully. But, my MIL found out she wasn't feeling good (because I had called over there and asked Nanny's caregiver if they had any prune juice and MIL called a few times to offer her suggestions (not that I asked for them.). I told her that I would keep the suppositories in mind and get one if Megan got uncomfortable. At that point she was playing in the bath with Dawson and was fine. About an hour 1/2 later she was frustrated though so I got one and cut it down small and it did help her. I was well aware of my options and didn't need anyones suggestions!!! What is it with grandparents? LOL I finally called Josh and told him he needed to talk to his mom. If they are going to live right next door I didn't need them breathing down my neck everytime my child is sick. I'll have to quit telling them anything because I get so tired of the "Bless her heart, he/she is SICK!!!" at every sniffle. Josh agreed. I hope the talk is soon because I'm getting so tired of it. Its not like I'm a new mommy (not that it matters, advice should be asked for, not solicited). I have 2 kids and think I do just fine. When I need help I ask for it. I don't dare tell her we don't have health insurance!

2002-09-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

Things went amazingly well this morning

Mom came to get Megan when we were eating breakfast and I dressed her and fed her really quick. We had one more talk about how Grandma would take her to her class and then go to a different room. I told her she would be close by and if she was upset and needed her that Grandma would come back for her. I hyped it up and told her about the activities and snack and playing outside with lots of other kids. She was insistant on trying it. I am SOOO proud of my little girl. :-) She never got scared or cried for Grandma. She had a great time and says she wants to go back next time too. I am so relieved. She is such a brave girl! This is a big step for her...HUGE!

Dawson is cracking me up lately

He LOVES music. We have the neurosmith "music blocks" and he will go over and hit one of the blocks and when it starts playing he gets a really adorable grin on his face and starts head banging. He is trying to walk everywhere and that is too cute too! He holds his arms up in the air for balance and he doesn't move his upper body at all unless he moves his head to look at me and he will fall down. Anyway, his legs move at the hip and his butt wobbles back and forth. His steps are so tiny that it takes him forever to get anywhere but its so cute! Tonight we went to the park and practiced walking on rocks and on the uneven ground. He was whipped and went right to sleep when we started nursing. (he probably would have gone to sleep much sooner but I tried to keep him up as long as he was happy.)

I have the headache from hades and just took an aleve and will now crawl in bed. (this might be a record bedtime for me!)

2002-09-10T22:48:00.000-04:00

9-11

Everywhere I go I see signs out in front of churches, schools, community buildings and along side the road advertising memorial services and prayer meetings to remember the events of last sept. I don't have a huge problem with the concept of remembering or memorializing those who lose their lives in an act of war. What is sad though is that Memorial Day as a holiday has just become another long weekend to vacation with the family. I went to the program that was done locally this past year and took the kids. There were only a few dozen people there! Why are the memories of those who lost their lives in war (many of whom were drafted and did NOT go into the military willingly) so easily glanced over occasionly and most often forgotten? I understnad that 9-11 came suddenly and all, but it seems to me that many of these events are happening because cities/churches/groups don't want to be caught NOT having one. I have no plans to go to any meetings. If my church were holding one (which they are not other than normal Wed. night services which we don't go to) I would not go. Not because I am afraid of another attack, here in this area, its not a fear but if it were I am at peace with tomorrow. The same goes for the televisions stations/companies who buy commercial air time. I remember last year when tv went back to regular programing, companies really tread lightly in their attempt to sell to Americans. THere was a lot of talk about what was appropriate and when. I respected that then. Americans had just sat in front of thier televisions for almost a week watching the horror replay over and over again. Now though, I don't see why it would be any less appropriate to see a regular ol' coke commercial tomorrow than any other day of the year. I dunno, I guess that if people were able to look at tomorrow as they would any other day of the year, there wouldn't be such a problem of treading lightly and maintaining what is "PC." Thats just my opinion from where I stand though. I'm not a New Yorker nor have I ever visited there or Washington. I hate that anyone lost thier lives last year on that day but I am just tired of it all and want life to once again go back to normal. I'll be glad when tomorrow is over.

in other news...
Tomorrow Megan is going to Bible Study with my mom. They have a 2-5 year old program that runs at the same time as the adult one. Mom wants to try and take her and I've agreed to let her give it a shot. Megan and I have talked about it a few times and I'm not positive she understands what will happen., but she has been told that I won't be there and that Mama Beam will be close by but not right there with her. She still says she wants to go so far. Mom is going to come early and try to get her settled in before she goes to her study group. I have also given mom explicit instructions that I do not want her stressed about this at all. If M cries and doesn't want to go in the class, mom said she would stay in there with her until it was over or bring her home. I'm going to stay by my phone and I want mom to call me if she gets her in the room. I have been praying that if its not the right decision to send her that I will feel that way. So far I am totally at peace with the decision to let her go so I guess we'll see what happens. Josh isn't so sure, but he just doesn't trust my mom completely. I don't either for the record, but it would be differnet if mom were taking her shopping alone, I wouldn't let that happen. Oh well, cross your fingers and say a little prayer that all goes well in the morning.

2002-09-10T12:50:00.000-04:00

more stupidity
I had a huge list of errands to run in Granite Falls today since I didn't want to ride all the way to Hickory and everything could be done right close together. I got a money order from the bank (we ran out of checks DOH!), a birthday present for my mom at the gift shop and had called my dad to meet him at the gas station (he gives me gas tickets he wins on the electric poker machine :-D). I was passing the library and saw a friend I needed to talk to and decided to turn around and go back. I had a huge bag of books that needed to be returned anyway. Well, it just happened to be storytime so we stayed for that. There was one other girl and her mom there that I know and a grandma with her infant grandson. When we were leaving, I saw her putting him into the front of her brand new model Impala. It was rear-facing of course so I put D in his seat and walked around to the other side and got her attention. I asked if there was a working airbag there and she said there was. I nicely informed her that it wasn't safe to put a baby in the front seat of a car with an airbag. I told her that if there was an accident and the bag went off he could be seriously hurt by it. She glared at me opened her car door and got in. I wish I had thought to write down her liscense plate number. I can't believe she could stand there and hear that and still be ok with her decision. She didn't ask how to change it or anything! :-(

2002-09-09T21:55:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we stayed home all afternoon. Josh had to mow the dealership lawn (made $55), my parents lawn and then ours! He was beat but Megan had been promised that we would go somewhere. I first thought we would go to the park but he was too tired so I decided that it was more like an ice cream night. lol. I had made a stir fry with brocolli, carrots, spinach and sweet peas with tofu. I made brown rice to go with and I thought it was yummy but it wasn't what J was in the mood for so he got a sandwhich for dinner and at the stirfry for lunch today. (He did say it was good btw)

Today we went to art at the resource center and then home for naps. After D's nap we went to the salvage. I love this place! Today I spent $15 and got 3 boxes of organic butter (freezing the extra), a carton of organic milk, 3 small containers of organic yogurt, a fresh pineapple a canteloupe, 2 packages of fresh sweet snap peas (that are now frozen), fresh leaf lettuce and a few other odds and ends. I cut up the pinapple and made PB&J (honey for me) sandwiches for dinner and ate them with the pineapple, some yogurt and some canteloupe we cut up a few days ago. I did some sewing today but my sewing machine is making a strange noise so I guess I"ll be calling the shop in the morning. grrr! Oh, we did have one neat thing happen. I was sitting at the back door sewing and my mom was in the living room with Megan (D was crawling around and around the dining room under me). I kept hearing a squeaking noise and D was standing at the door looking into the garage so I got up to see what was going on. The cat had a tiny baby mouse and was playing with it in the garage. I figured that poor mouse was going to die a slow death so I got a paper cup and caught it. Megan thought it was so cute. We took it out to the field behind our house and let the poor guy go.

2002-09-07T16:50:00.000-04:00

Ignorance abounds
Or maybe its just stupidity. The woman I have mentioned before (the one with koolade bottles who was evicted yet had cable tv and internet right til the end) came online this morning and I said hi and asked where she was living now. She was moved the first time into crisis housing in a very violent neighborhood. They were scared for their lives and got moved again. She said that her husband was out of town when the move happened and he wasn't on the lease so the housing authority won't let him live with them.(she says they are trying to get it fixed but there is lots of govt. red tape in the way) He is living across town with friends...her fucking husband. ITs not like hes some out of town friend who is trying to bunk with them. Ok, so thats not even the worst of it though. Neither of them are working and she tells me exstatically that their 4 bedroom place costs only $50 a month and the cable got turned on today and the phone will be on tomorrow. HOW THE FUCK do you pay your rent much less the bills if you have no income? How long can they milk the system before someone is forced to be responsible and get a fucking job? Is public assistance allowed to be used to pay for things like cable tv/internet? I get the point of food stamps and I'm thankful that we dont' need them. I get the point of low cost housing and I'm thankful we don't need it either. I'm glad they exist for short term use occasionally when people's lives fall apart. (though I wish that American's were would take it upon themselves to help people in need instead of refer everyone to social services) I realize that people have a hard time in life but if you are at the point where you are in public housing and your own husband isn't even allowed to live with you, and no one has a job, then something needs to change. I just sat here in shock. I do suspect that her dh is depressed because I can't imagine a man with two kids and a wife just not working for no reason. She though could be working second shift and has not done a thing about getting work either. It frustrates me to no end and I don't know how I could help them. I certainly don't think that continuing to give people like that money is a good thing until I remember they have 2 kids...those kids are the only reason they should be getting anything from anyone. I hate to feel that way but its true. :(

2002-09-06T23:18:00.000-04:00

I feel so relieved

Josh got paid today and I am SOOOO relieved that we have the money to pay all our bills. We paid most of them last month but had to leave off the biggest ones and we are a month behind on the Blazer so we do have the money to play catch up and I delivered the rent to Josh' parents this afternoon. They were of course happy because this year has been hit or miss month to month what we could give them. Josh has sold 3 cars already for Sept. and has his "draw" covered already. That feels good!!! I made veggie pizza and some lemon bars to celebrate. He brought home beer, wine and hard lemonade and we are getting sloshed. LOL

2002-09-06T18:54:00.000-04:00

A year later, I got the pictures developed from Dawson's homebirth! Geez, you think I'm a procrastinator? LOL I did have the ones from the digital camera but none of me holding him or of us after the birth, etc... They are beautiful and I can't believe I didn't get them sooner, I just could never remember to. So, in Sam's Club I did the 1 hour developing while we shopped. On the way to the store though, I had 2 things happen that had me majorly shook up. THe first thing was an idiot in a big truck that went across 2 lanes of traffic and it was the closest near miss I have ever seen before. Right in front of me in the right lane was a little red nissan and she didn't even see him coming. She missed his truck by inches literally. Then on the interstate, a guy got right behind me (both in the left lane) and was just right on my ass. I couldn't get over and I couldn't go faster because there were people ahead of me. So when I finally can move over to the right lane, he moves over too and takes an exit a little ways up. The moron could have slowed down and then gotten over when the truck next to us went on but he had to pass it first. Big ass-hole! When I finally got my family to Sam's safe and sound, I was standing right in side the door making a game plan with my mom and my friend Tammy came in with her husband and 2 year old. She touched me on the shoulder and I turned around and practically jumped out of my shoes. I felt like a moron. lol I had good reason to be edgy though. MOm got MEgan some lunch and I got the dogfood and diapers (sposies for night time) and picante and then we wandered around eating snacks for the nest little bit til my pictures were done. I love that store as much as I hate it. MOm got D a cute outfit for a Christmas present and we went home.

My brother calls and says he has an opportunity for me to make a bunch of money. I figured he was full of it when I talked to him and now that I've done a little bit of research on the item he wants to sell, I know he is. He thinks he has a MIB electric game that is worth thousands and after a little bit of checking, I figure its worth no more than $40. ROFL

2002-09-05T17:35:00.000-04:00

it amazes me what people will say
and it amazes me more what people will believe. Last night this dude running for the senate seat (I think hes running against Elizabeth Dole) for the democrat party was on TV saying that the "best way to honor those that died on Sept 11, 2001 was to vote in the primarys on Sept 10." What a bunch of bull shit! My mom goes on to say "thats right!" and look at me because she knows that 1)I can't vote in the primary and 2)If I could vote, there would be certain elections I wouldn't cast a vote in because of personal contradicting beliefs. SHe thinks that is the ultimate sin...to have the right to vote and not do it. Contrary to what she says, I believe that choosing not to vote is casting a vote.

Anyway, back to what that guy said, you could substitute anything for vote and it would make just as much sense...go to a prayer meeting, pay your taxes,donate blood, donate money...whatever your cause. None of those things would make me feel any better if I were the family member of someone who lost their life in those attacks and some of them I would find slighly offensive. (including the vote one.)

2002-09-04T19:11:00.000-04:00

Heh Heh Heh

Josh just left the house alone with both kids. Ok, so hes just returning a movie a few miles away and doesn't have to get out of the car, but its a start, right? LOL

Josh took today and tomorrow off to help his dad with the wood floors on our house. He got called in around 3:30 to work on a deal. Before he left, he got a call from some people that he thought were a lost cause last night and they are coming in at 4:00 tomorrow afternoon and a deal that has been in limbo is going to get finished tomorrow as well!! Not only did we end Aug on a good note, September has started with an explosion. I forget who posted it at yaaps, but the Aug. horoscope for Leo's was that there would be a big financial turn around. I don't put much faith in horoscopes, but have always believed that there was *something* to them. I just don't base my life's planning on them. Anyway, I believe that WE laid the groundwork for the turn around. We put our faith into work and made it happen. It wasn't luck of the draw OR all in the stars.

I can't wait til they announce the winner of American Idol. I can't complain either way since I didn't vote, but I'm pulling for Kelly to win it.

2002-09-03T19:09:00.000-04:00

I've got myself all in a tizzy
I just vamped up my hair and makeup. I've got on thick eyeliner and 3 layers of mascara. Bright cheekbones and subtle lips. The part Josh is gonna like best is the tight boy panties and better yet, I gave myself a really skinny shave down below. :) I can't wait til the kids go to bed tonight!

2002-09-03T13:15:00.000-04:00

I went to the meeting
And now I'm upset with myself. One of my flaws (as I see it) is taht I am not asservite enough. If there is a conversation going on and I don't agree with something, I practically lose my voice or I feel like I can't get a word in so I just sit there with my thoughts. Today the speaker talked about Boundaries and it was an awesome talk. I don't personally feel like I have a problem with setting boundaries. Sometimes I struggle with exactly where the line has to be, but I am not overly rigid or permissive either. Being at AMU and Yaaps has been great for me in that sense, well not that only, but I digress. After he talked, we sat down to discuss it and the woman I talked about earlier admitted that she was too rigid, so maybe she will do some evaluating. One other lady said that she had trouble with power struggles with her 4 year old. I have never had a 4 year old and just sat there trying to come up with something to suggest to her. My friend Tammy brought up choosing battles carefully and offering choices. I think I threw in a thought or 2 and then she went on to talk about maybe she should have started letting her cry sooner. She talked about when the 4 year old was a baby she wanted to answer her because it was just so pitiful. I sat there trying to get my thoughts together and then it just moved on and I never got in a word. I wish now I had spoken up and at least told her that babies don't cry to be pitiful, but I didn't and now I am mad at myself. Maybe I'll do better next time. I at least got myself warmed up to the group and was happy that I knew almost all of them. (the mom with the 4 year old was not someone I knew). Tammy and I just sat and smiled at each other because she knew what I was thinking even if I didn't say it. I need to work on my poker face. lol I have spoken up with Tammy before, but we are close and its so much easier in a one on one setting to talk about things indepth and I do better one on one. So, now that I know how it feels to want to say something and not say it, I will do better next time. I have to because this feels like hell. :(
It was interesting to see the one woman admit she was too rigid (one of the reasons I didn't care for her) and I look forward to seeing if she works on that. I do feel good after hearing the talk on boundaries that I am doing things right. The speaker is our churches marriage and family counselor and I think he will be the one I call when I'm ready for Josh and I to get some counseling. We need to now, because we are not on the same page and I think having a specific place and time away from the kids to get things worked out amoung us with some mediation would be really helpful for us but I'm not ready to leave Dawson for too long. I did put him in the childcare (M stayed with Nana) and he did well for an hour and got tired. He cried a minute and Tammy told Jan (our church's minister to women) that I didn't like to leave him crying so she brought him to me. It was interesting because about 3 minuted before T brought him to me, I started feeling like he needed me. It was really strange. I wanted to hear the last part of his talk because he was talking about family dynamics and it was interesting.
Oh well, I'm glad I went, for the most part it was fun.

2002-09-03T08:05:00.000-04:00

My church is starting a mom's group this morning in an hour and I was planning to go. I don't know why but I don't feel like it. I need to get out and make friends, blah blah blah... Megan won't stay in the childcare though and the leader is someone that I pretend to get along with, but don't really like. ugh! I guess I will call MIL and see if she would like to spend some time with Megan. (if she can)

2002-09-02T00:05:00.000-04:00

1. I am 26
2. I was almost born on the way to the hospital
3. My daddy got pulled over by the policeman on the way to the hospital.
4. I am the 3rd of 4 children.
5. I was born 14 years after the 2nd born and 2 1/2 years before the last born.
6. I went to Christian school until 8th grade.
7. I was accepted into a show choir when I was in 10th grade.
8. We moved 10 weeks later.
9. I was 15
10. I hated the "choir" that was available at my new high school and quit after 10th grade.
11. I was still active in the youth choir at church though.
12. I have been on 3 mission trips to myrtle beach
13. We did daycamps and ministered to children during the day.
14. At night we performed concerts at various spots
15. I sang "Hero" (solo) at the mall in myrtle beach.
16. I met Josh when I was 16 in Chemistry class.
17. He was in lust with my butt.
18. So was his best friend.
19. That butt is long gone. lol
20. I have accepted the new butt. rofl
21. Before I dated Josh I had 4 other guys that I dated or thougth about dating.
22. One of those guys I was pretty hot and heavy with.
23. We broke up because I wouldn't sleep with him.
24. He was very possessive and it was starting to bother me anyway.
25. Another guy started stalking me and freaked me out.
26. The other 2 were older and never moved beyond talking stage.
27. I almost convinced myself that Josh and I were just friends
28. He won and we had our first date on Valentines day 1993.
29. He drove me down to the river and played "The Dance" by Garth Brooks
30. We danced and then he kissed me.
31. It freaked me out and I withdrew from him.
32. I got over it and a month later I was wearing his class ring.
33. After graduation we both went to the community college (harvard on the highway)
34. We soon began an Amway "business."
35. That was a big mistake
36. We no longer talk to any of our associates except some that were not directly linked with us that we go to church with.
37. I still use Amway laundry products
38. I did not renew last year for the first time.
39. We got married on Aug 16, 1997
40. We went to Disney World for our honeymoon.
41. We stayed at the Contemporary Resort.
42. We lived in a one bedroom house for the first 15 months.
43. We now live in the same house that Josh grew up in.
44. Megan was concieved on Josh's 23rd birthday.
45. The events of her birth are one of my biggest regrets in life.
46. Megan has taught me more than I could ever teach her
47. Dawson was concieved while using a condom.
48. There are no more children in our plans for many years.
49. My favorite foods are italian and mexican
50. My favorite color is green
51. I don't eat meat unless it is called pepperoni
52. I eat fish too
53. I was spanked as a child
54. Mom hit us with "switches"
55. I will never EVER strike my child with a stick
56. I have spanked. :(
57. It has been very hard for me to move beyond the way I was treated in times of stress.
58. I am reprograming my mind everyday and taking them one day at a time.
59. I spent 3 years working in a daycare in college.
60. My first job was a "gofer" for the local govt. offices
61. I loved working in the EMS dept.
62. I also worked for about 6 months as a pharmacy tech.
63. I liked that job too.
64. I am a libertarian
65. I am proud of the fact that Dawson has never had a bottle nor have I pumped milk to give him in any other way.
66. He was 8-9 months before he ate food.
67. I think cantelope was his first food.
68. My biggest fear is of my child falling from a high place.
69. I have visions in my mind of this happening sometimes.
70. I always feel sick to my stomach afterwards and feel helpless to protect them.
71. I learned to crochet last summer
72. I have made the same project over and over again since then. (hats)
73. My dream car is a Honda Odessy
74. If I knew I wouldnt' have more kids I would pick a Volvo wagon
75. I have visions of Megan being a famous perfomer.
76. Sometimes its acting, sometimes dance and sometimes gymnastics
77. My favorite style of home decor is shabby chik. (sp?)
78. The older I get, the more liberal (or openminded) I get.
79. I have a major sweet tooth.
80. I just ate a piece of cake and a small scoop of ice cream.
81. I struggle with materialism.
82. My dream house is a log cabin on acreage in the mountains.
83. One toenail is painted green glitter
84. I stopped with one because it looked horrid. :P
85. My favorite tv show is friends.
86. My favorite episode is the one where the girls lose their apt. to the boys.
87. My favorite show of all time is Seinfeld.
88. In 5 years I hope to be pregnant or have a newborn and be living in a home that we own.
89. In 10 years I hope to be debt free and persuing a career (or doing some volunteer work) on a regular basis.
90. I hope that it is related to birth or breastfeeding.
91. I don't think my calling is "midwife" though.
92. I'm not sure I'll be done having babies in 10 years, I'm leaving that part up to God.
93. I will be the a co-teacher in the 2 year old Sunday School class next starting in Oct.
94. I just cleaned up pink marker on our carpet.
95. My next chore is to fold more laundry (does it ever end?)
96. I don't have any favorite music. Lately I've listened to a lot of The Manhatten Transfer.
97. I'm irritated that PBS just decided to change their morning schedule and put Whiney boy on when Sesame St. was supposed to be on!
98. I'll get over it and maybe we won't keep the tv on as much.
99. Megan's new favorite toy is a water inner tube with tweety bird on it.
100. Megan's noodle water is ready...time to go finish lunch. ;)

2002-09-01T21:31:00.000-04:00

The party went great!

It was small but very nice. My mom, dh's parents, one great grandmother, Courtney and her kids and Aunt RaRa were there. He got clothes, socks, hats, toys and a gc for new shoes. I think we are going to go see about the shoes tomorrow since he is wanting to be down outside so much more. His socks will do for inside (or his Bobux shoes). I made a cake and gave him his own little piece to play in. It was fun and we got it on tape. I missed a bunch of it serving everyone else so I can't wait to go back and watch it. We gave Megan a piece when she turned 1, but she wasn't too interested in it. D on the other hand got down and dirty with it. :P

My house is clean! I can't believe it. I am going to try so hard to keep it this way now. I jsut got all the crap out of the Blazer and I'm going to organize it here in a minute. I'm so tired of clutter!

Tomorrow morning we are going to go see Courtney's new log house and visit for a few hours. After nap we will go to Hancock Fabrics for their Labor Day sale. The pattern to make M's Cinderella dress for Christmas is going to be on sale for 99 cents and all the notions are 1/2 price so I'm going to get the stuff I need to make aprons with. Robin and I got some sewing done last night but not much. Now that my machine is back out, we are going to do more work on Tuesday evening.
'night all!

2002-08-31T21:44:00.000-04:00

My house hasn't seen this much order in I don't know how long.

2002-08-31T17:31:00.000-04:00

I was so frazzled earlier that I totally forgot to mention that we had an awesome time yesterday with Corrie and Julie Ann. Laura went to the wrong McD's. :( I definitly wish Corrie lived closer, she was a lot of fun to talk to and her girls were a lot of fun too. Julie Ann's little boy is getting so tall. I love his hair too. :) D won't let me say more than that so I'll leave it at that. We had a great morning and next time I head up to Michigan I am definitly coming home through Van Wert. :)

2002-08-31T12:50:00.000-04:00

I hate days like this
I would rather the whole day start off shitty than to turn toward the toilet midway! It looks like I'm having the party here at our house tomorrow instead of outside at my IL's as planned before. The forecast is calling for rain all day tomorrow and his Nanny is sick so we can't do it inside over there. Thankfully I started back to Flylady the other day. I've done a few "27 fling boogies" and purged a whole shit load of mags. J's FHM mags (aka light porn) got tossed and he lost a pile of car mags too but so be it, I can't hold onto that shit when we move, so it might as well go now. I had D down for a nap and we nursing Megan when the day went down hill. I couldn't get her to stop touching and pinching on me , I wanted her hands at her side and she started screaming and woke up Dawson. Its been over an hour and he won't go back to sleep. After getting out my frustration, I told her that from now on she had to pick a toy to hold while she nurses. Hopefully in a bit she will go down for a nap and then he will and I can get some work done on the house. I am so stressed it isn't funny.

I have to:
~~Bake a cake~~ and cookies
prepare veggie tray (tomorrow)
prepare baked nacho dip (tomorrow)
label boxes and take to garage (J's job)
clean out bay window
call everyone and tell them the change in place
dust mop and mop wood floors
vacuum carpet
~~put away a stack of books~~
clean the play room
~~straiten up the laundry room~~
clean back bathroom (J's job)
fold laundry
clean and declutter kitchen

Off I go to nurse M to sleep (she has a special Mrs. Puddleduck toy to hold ;)) and then get to work. RaRa is coming over at 4 to play with the kids while I bake.

2002-08-30T17:58:00.000-04:00

Dawson Lee Clark’s birth story
Let me preface this by saying that I made some choices during this labor that I will never repeat. I am at peace with them now, but won't repeat them.

I woke up on 8/30/01 to use the bathroom at around 4:00am. When I returned to bed, Megan stirred and I nursed her back to sleep. At around 4:15 I had my first really intense contraction of the day. I had another one a few minutes later and couldn’t get comfortable so I asked Josh where his stopwatch was and I got up to time them. They were anywhere from 4-10 minutes apart for the first few hours. Josh got up soon after me and while I rested, he started nesting.  I called my midwife at 5:30 and gave her a heads up. She gave me some tips for getting things moving like breathing deeply and tummy massage. I called her every hour for the next few hours and by the middle of the day, things had slowed way down. I was getting frustrated because I would have these really strong double peaked contractions that took my attention away completely. But, they were 20-30 minutes apart with just a few tummy tightening ones here and there. I asked finally about what I could do to further get this moving because I was tired and I had my friend there to take care of Megan, Josh was off work, etc…I just wanted it to happen today and not 2 days from now! She said to give her an hour or so and she would come by with some things I could try. In the meantime we took a long brisk walk and got Megan good and tired for a nap. While my friend Robin was out driving Megan around to put her to sleep, Josh and I spent some time alone. ;) That seemed to do something because my contractions got more regular by the time my midwife showed up. She went over using her double electric pump, castor oil and blue and black cohosh. I started with the castor oil and pumping. I soon decided that the castor oil was working and stopped everything but the castor oil. I was definitely in labor by that point and had to go lay down while Josh got my birthing tub set up. I was never so happy as when I sat down in that warm water. In the meantime, my friend was trying to reach Courtney (my midwife) by her cell phone and home phone and I was freaking because we couldn’t get an answer. I then had her call Karen (the midwife she teams up with who was also going to be at the birth) and we couldn’t get her either. It turns out that she was outside and we didn’t wait long enough for her answering machine. She did have call waiting though and called back. Then Courtney called and could tell by the tone in my voice that she needed to get there.

My contractions were very intense. It may have been because of the castor oil, it may not. But, my midwife said later that she rarely hears of women having contractions in more than a few places even with labor enhancement. I was feeling them equally as strong in my tummy, back, legs (from hip to knee), cervix and rectum. Courtney showed up and started getting things set up while Josh fought off anxiety in the bathroom. I got up to use the bathroom and decided to brush my teeth and ended up throwing up. 
I asked to be checked at some point because I was getting so frustrated at how long the day had become. I was at 7 and that was re-assuring to me that I was at least getting there and that it would be over in the next hour or two. That was the only time I was “checked.” It was very soon after that that I entered the transitional stage. I couldn’t get comfortable. I knew I needed to change positions, but I just couldn’t find a way to stay comfortable and relax. Josh was wonderful. He stopped if I told him to, he was encouraging, never said things to me like “you need to focus.” When I got to the point where I was saying “I can’t do it, I want this to be over!!!” and “I want DRUGS!” He reminded me why we were at home and prayed over me. I got up to use the bathroom right before I felt the urge to push and breathed through some on the toilet. Everyone thought I was going to stay there but I made it back to the water.

Suddenly, there was no way I couldn’t push! The urge was SO strong and I could feel his head. I remember in the hospital giving birth to Megan that I had the “poopy pressure” but didn’t have the overwhelming urge to push that I was experiencing. I pushed a few times in a partially reclined sitting position and then got on my knees and leaned on the pool for a little while. That felt good, but my feet started to go numb so I went back to the sitting position. The whole time Josh sat behind me and let me sqeeze his hands. There were times when Courtney and Karen asked if he wanted to come around and look and I wouldn’t let him. He stayed right where I wanted him. I pushed only during the contraction when I felt the strongest urge and I just held it for as long as I could. I felt the water release right before his head started to bulge. As the head started to come through, the pain was more of a burning one. Courtney told me later that she was trying to get me to breath through a little. I didn’t hear her…how was I supposed to breath though though!? I mean, the head was there. I could feel it and it hurt like hell…I wanted it OUT! I tore at that point in the same spot the medwife cut me last time.  His body was born with the next contraction. We called Robin and Megan in for that last push. Poor Megan was an emotional wreck when she saw that tiny baby laying on my chest. She screamed for “Mama” and “booby” and even “baby.” I held him on my chest while Courtney got him crying. I wanted to keep the sex a secret (even from myself) for just a little longer and then I looked and yelled “A boy!” My friend Robin was crying at that point and I just sat there proud of myself and happy for my little family to be expanded with the birth of a son and brother. His apgars were 8 and 9.

The phone rang all day long so it wasn’t a surprise when it rang a minute later and my parents were calling from the car in our driveway to find out what was going on. They were instructed to wait outside and we would let them know when they could come in. Josh went ahead and called his parents too. Robin took Megan and went outside where Megan continued to cry “Mama, Baby, Booby!!!” I felt so badly for her! I know it was a very hard day for her.

They got me cleaned up and closed my tear with super glue. Then we let the grandparents have a look at him. They did his assessment and dressed him in a cloth diaper, gown and hat. That first night was a long tiring one. I didn’t sleep until close to 5am because he would wake up everytime I tried to lay him down next to me. I guess he liked his milk from the start .

I have been asked many times if I would do it again and the answer is “YES!” Even though it wasn’t easy and it hurt like hell, I won’t subject another child to hospital routine the way I did Megan. (of course it would be different if we had to go than it would be to go there electively.)

2002-08-29T23:12:00.000-04:00

they are just melting away
The pounds that is. I've had 3 different people tell me in the past 2 days that I look like I've lost a lot of weight. The jeans I bought last spring are getting enormous on me and they are a size 12. I have a pair of 14s that I finally got rid of too. The pants I just made are even a bit too big. I'm glad I'm losing weight but a bit disappointed that all my clothes are getting too big again.

My sink is clean, I have bleach water in one side and I'm going to let it sit until I go to bed. I can only do one side though because I ran out of bleach and in my sink, the more toxic the better. I don't even want to think about it. GAG! Oh, don't tell but I did it all in bare feet. LOL

I'm really excited about tomorrow. I have the camera in the car so it won't be forgotten and have put out clothes for myself and as soon as I finish here will get the kids stuff ready so I'm not too rushed in the morning. :D

Here is the recipe for the soup I made today...

Sort through a bag of navy beans and then rinse and soak them overnight
The next morning, saute a chopped onion and some carrots and garlic in butter. Put the beans in the crockpot and cover with clean water. Add a can of veggie (or chicken) broth and 4 oz of cream cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste and then add the onion saute and stir. Cook several hours on high and then turn down to low.

2002-08-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

Annie inspired me

To get ready for our upcoming move, I just rejoined fly-lady. I hope I can stick with it this time. I really have a lot of junk to get rid of though! (if Josh will let me that is, I swear he feels happy with junky stuff all around him, can't live without it.)

2002-08-29T12:37:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we ran around all day. But, first Dawson had to take a nap. His schedule is all wonky right now. I guess teething, walking and this cold have him out of sorts. The night before he was up til 10:30 and then woke up by 7:30 yesterday morning. His nap was 4 freakin hours long!!! It was wonderful, but wow! I was getting worried abouit him. He was SO happy when he woke up so he definitly needed that! We went to big lots for some party plates and stuff and then to Target for favors and presents for D. I got him a pounding toy (wooden toy with block nails and a hammer. He likes to do this at my mom's) and a musical toy. Oh, and I got Megan the cutest pair of flair-leg black leggings. They were only $4.99! :) Then we went to Sam's for some food stock up items and a few things for the party. I'm making a baked nacho dip, veggies and dip and cake and ice cream. I can't believe my boy will be 1 tomorrow!

Speaking of tomorrow...I am meeting Corrie and Julie Ann and possibly Laura/zenmama tomorrow at the science center. Since its free and the butterfly exhibit is still up I thought that would be the nicest place for everyone to go. I can't wait ladies!

Tomorrow in honor of Dawson's birthday I will post his home-birth story.

2002-08-26T22:39:00.000-04:00

age I am - 26
people i have slept with - One (awww :p)
age when i lost my virginity - 21
times i have been in love - 1
times i have had my heart broken - I don't think I ever have
hearts i have broken - I dunno, one or two.
months i have been single - I'm not.
continents i have visited - Only this one.
age when i first flew all alone - 8, tho I wasn't exactly all alone, my 5 year old brother was with me. I flew alone again when I was 15
number of boys i have kissed - 4, keep in mind that I've been with Josh since I was 16
number of girls i have kissed - besides family, none
number of grades i got at school that were less than A - Geez, most of them? I was a B avg student most of the time though I did get my share of A's.
suicide attempts that actually weren't- none
types of drugs taken illegally - none
drugs i am addicted to right now - none, though Mike's Hard Lemonade would be a possible addiction of I could afford the stuff more often. lol
number of people i would classify as true, i could trust with my life type friends - A very small handful
number of people from [high school] that i will stay in contact with - less than 5
number of people in [high school] that i have snogged - 1, I married him (assuming snogged means that I slept with him. lol)
number of piercings - Just my ears but I never wear anything in them. I am planning my eyebrow as soon as Dawson quits grabbing at my glasses.
number of tattoos - None yet.
number of times my name has appeared on film credits - none
number of things in my past that I regret - That I didn't live my life more before I had children.

2002-08-26T11:49:00.000-04:00

Check out my new sticker thingy to your left. It seems to have killed my weather pixie though. Maybe she is just out to lunch and will be back momentarily...

2002-08-25T23:20:00.000-04:00

I haven't done this one yet, I didn't do as bad as I feared (lol)

You are 10% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

2002-08-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

I feel so sorry for Mimi sometimes

Tonight she took a really late nap because she had a really bad tantrum and I put her to bed. She nursed for a few min and was asleep within a min of me leaving the room. I then woke her up at close to 8 and wanted her to eat something and play a bit before going to bed for the night. She didn't wake up well but was fine after I sat down for a short time to nurse her. She played and Josh fixed her an egg. I spent some time sewing in the back of the house (I'm making a hot pair of camel brown ultra-suede hipster pants) and then Josh said he was feeling really rough so I stopped and cleaned up everything while convincing him to try some grapefruit seed extract. He choked it down and Megan was getting sleepy so I convinced her to nurse a bit because J wasn't feeling well hoping she would go to sleep. She was just settling in and closing her eyes when Dawson started stirring. I had to set her down and go to him. ;( Poor girl is always second fiddle to the baby. No wonder she rarely acts like she likes him.

This morning was rough. Dawson is still a bit sick so I decided to keep him home from church. Josh got ready and went to the early service. My plans were to put D down for a nap after J got hom and take Megan to church for the second service. I am always in the nursery and they depend on me since they have trouble for some reason getting enough volunteers. Well, I got him to sleep and then the fucking tv came on as I was sneaking away! I don't know what happened since the remote was sitting on the bedside table...the only thing I can imagine is that when the power went out the night before, the setting on the tv got messed up and coincidently it just happened as soon as I got the baby to sleep. I tried to settle him and he just persisted in staying awake so I got frustrated and quit. To be honest I was totally pissed off and had to spend some time to myself. I don't know why sometimes things like that trigger me. I hate having an idea of how things will be and then it not happening. I need to work on that.

We spent the rest of the day at the IL's house. Josh cleaned out the pool and filled it up. We all got in it and Dawson had a grand time. I can't believe he will be 1 on Friday!!! I'll have to dig out my birth story in honor of his birthday. I have a big week planned...

Tomorrow night Robin is coming over for our crafting night. Josh gets to be in charge of both kids for awhile! I am hoping that we can make a trip to Sam's either tomorrow or tuesday. I also need to go to Party City for cups and plates and will get some favors at Target probably. I want to have 12 aprons done (except for the velcro which I haven't bought yet) by the end of the week and I hope to finish the pants by then too. Saturday night I will bake the cake and get everything ready to have his party on Sunday. I still don't know what to get him. Any ideas of a gift for a 1 year old boy who is also the second child?

2002-08-24T17:07:00.000-04:00

Here he is, my little stinker...

2002-08-23T09:54:00.000-04:00

wouldn't you know it

After a whole summer without even a sniffle, Megan decided to come down with something. Julie Ann was coming up today to go see butterflies with us and I ended up canceling. :( I think that M would be fine, but I don't want her to pick up anything else.

Lesseee...
Wednesday we spent the whole day in Blowing Rock. Josh took the day off and we played in the park in town (actually Josh and M played, Dawson and I went to some shops), ate lunch at Cheeseburgers in Paridise, had Kilwins icecream and then played at the parkway. Dawson napped in the car with MIL while we let Megan play in the creek. It was a beautiful day and was 15 degrees cooler up there.

Yesterday we stayed home. Megan surpised me by getting sick. She started by throwing up twice and then her nose started running and she started sneezing. No fever so MIL can't fret about West Nile. lol

Dawson is walking a little better every day. He is taking 5 and 6 steps at a time sometimes. I think its becoming time to get him a pair of shoes for occasional wear. I called a boutique in hickory that sells Stride Rite and found out that they keep a full selection of shoes in wide and xtra wide. They also have the very flexible soles so I think we will be picking up a pair pretty soon. ($40!!!!!)

I have a lot of projects I need to get moving on. I have material to make 12 aprons and only have the first one cut out so I have some work to do. I need to buy bias tape to sew them, but I think I can pick that up today or tomorrow. I also REALLY REALLY REALLY need to finish the top of Megan's quilt which means a lot of rotary cutting. Monday evening is going to become crafting night for me and Robin. We decided that we needed to get together one night a week to be accountable to each other.

We rented a Bob the Builder video for Megan the other night. I don't get to see the show because we are without nick here, but it seems that Wendy has the hots for Bob. Is this a well documented fact or is it just on this video?

2002-08-20T23:58:00.000-04:00

Should we...shouldn't we...

I didn't mention this here before, but we were considering bankruptcy very seriously. We had everything set, got the money out of our (small) 401K and then just sat there. I talked about taking everything to the lawyer's office. WE talked about going together on his day off. We talked about him taking a lunch break and going. We talked about looking at other attorneys. We just never DID anything about it. Then all of a sudden we both basically blurted out that we didn't feel right about it. It was kind of surprising. I didn't expect to say it. My own fears of our situation kept me believing that it was the only answer to our problems. We prayed about it though and now I feel at peace. We have always been taken care of before. Nothing has ever happened that was too much to handle. I know that when the time comes that I need a vehicle, one will be provided. We will be fine.

I was Miss Suzy Homemaker today. Before lunch, I had already changed the sheets on 3 mattresses, washed them, turned the mattress, vaccumed, dusted, folded laundry, cleaned the bathroom and straitened up. After going to 2 grocery stores, I swept and steam cleaned the hardwood floors. For dinner we had bean and cheese chimichangas with sour cream and guacamole. I also boiled noodles for tomorrow's pasta salad and put pintos in to soak for tomorrow's dinner. (Red beans and rice with TVP...never had it before, but we're gonna give it a try)

Josh is off tomorrow and we have decided to take the kids to Blowing Rock for a picnic and some walking. I want to do some window shopping and maybe get D's birthday present. I love shopping in the town of BR. There is a Kilwins in town too, so I will be sure not to leave without a cone of yummy ice cream. :)

Hopefully I'll have a pic to show you tomorrow, but tonight Dawson did hte funniest thing. I was on the couch and J was sitting in the loveseat eating dinner. I couldn't see D's face so I had no clue what was going on. I figured J was watching him. Anyway, he says, "Get over here and look at your son!" I am greeted to a smiling baby boy who has various shades of blue, red, green, purple and yellow all over his face, tounge, teeth, etc... He was chewing on Megan's water colors. Ay yay yay! It was funny. I'll be sure to keep them put away a little better next time though.

2002-08-20T17:53:00.000-04:00

I'm Frustrated
And the more I think about it, the madder I get! I thought talking to Skyra about it would help but it just made me more furious. I called my midwife friend last night to find out if her client had had the baby yet. If not, I was going to see if I could come to the next visit to listen with the fetoscope. Well, she said that the baby hadn't come yet and the mom was in nursing school during the day so they weren't able to meet until an evening. Well, I got curious...Is she going to take a break after the baby is born?? I was told she was, but that because she couldn't afford to be away too long, it would only be a few days. Then I'm told that she will be in school for 10 hours some days and only 3 others. This is 10 HOURS away from a baby who is only a few days old! Why the fuck does she care about what kind of birth experience she has (planning a homebirth) if she is willing to be away from her tiny newborn for 10 hours a day. I guess since daddy and grandma are taking care of it, that things will be fine and dandy. They are actually praying that her recovery will be quick and easy. Man that pisses me off!! I can't imagine the God I worship listening to a prayer of a mother who wants to get recover as quickly as possible so she can spend all day in class away from her newborn. GRRRRR! I was as quiet about it as I could be and then just said that I couldn't imagine leaving my baby. I don't have any idea what else to say. I have no desire to meet this woman now though. I guess as a midwife, you do your job and let the parent do theirs.

2002-08-17T22:16:00.000-04:00

plans changed

It freakin poured this evening. There were flash floods all over the place and it thundered and lighteninged so we stayed in and got take out fish. I feel ill now...ate too much. Mom gave me a picture frame for our wedding pic and my sister gave me a small corkwood frame. (5th year is the "wood anniversary.") I went to Target because J wanted a new pair of tennis shoes and I found some cheap knock offs of the Steve Madden shoes I fell in love with a few weeks ago. I decided I could either buy these for $17 or I could wait until God only knows and buy the ones at the mall for $60. I went ahead and bought them. They are black Mary Jane style and have a few cut outs on the top. The soles are kinda sporty but they are trendy enough to be dress or casual. I heart them. :)

2002-08-16T19:36:00.000-04:00

Today is our 5th anniversary. We aren't going out or anything, but Josh is bringin home some beverages and maybe a movie or something. Tomorrow our whole family is going to a bbq place that has a dance floor and clogging/square dancing and live music. Its a lot of fun and even though I don't eat meat, I can't wait. Last year we went for my birthday and had the best time watching Megan dance. She is a year older, but I have a strong feeling she will be "on." :) I'm not sure how we'll manage with Dawson, I just hope he is in a good mood. I'm a little nervous about him.

All the kids had their pics taken today. Megan wore her white silk dress that was bought back when Josh was in the wedding in June and Dawson wore a little white sunsuit. Helga's boys dressed more casually but I think it will turn out well. D stood up for his along pic and held a little ladder. He grinned so big! I can't wait to see them. Afterwards we went to Goodwill and I got some pants and tops for fall. One pair I am going to crop and another pair has to be hemmed, but you can't beat the prices there. I can't believe I haven't gone there sooner. This afternoon we visited the butterflies again and played at the science center before dinner. Megan fell asleep on the way home from mom and dad's. She is out for the night I think.

We are all tired so I am hoping tomorrow can be a lazy day. I don't want to do too much running around since we are going out for dinner.

2002-08-14T22:00:00.000-04:00

Poor RJ

As bad as Nikki sucked, she made it another week. :(

2002-08-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

I learned how to take blood pressure today

I was supposed to practice listening through a fetoscope for the first time, but when I woke up at 8 and called Courtney, I was told the client had showed up 30 min early and by the time I drove up at 8:35, she was driving away. Oh well. She is due any day now. (this is not the labor I will be helping with though, thats not til Jan) We talked about how I would help her at the birth. Things like handing her steril pads to wipe away body fluids and to wipe the baby's face, making sure the other people there are positive and such, helping keep mom comfortable, etc... This will be her 3rd baby so C doesn't expect the labor to be long. I am leaning toward doing this for her and am praying for things to work out so that I can be away from D for a few hours.

I just drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade and am feeling pretty fine. :P As soon as M finishes nursing I have some housework to catch up on before tomorrow. My big sis from Michigan will be here with her boys tomorrow afternoon and we are meeting her at my Grandma's house. I'm looking forward to spending the next week with her.

2002-08-11T17:33:00.000-04:00

Last night was fabulous! I got to go out with my best friend for the first time since before M was born. We have spent time together since then, but not anything meaningful. We went to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner because I wanted a portabello mushroom sandwich. Well, RT's had done away with that item so I got a Shrimp alfredo. It was good, but not nearly as good as that sand was. Hancock fabrics was closed by the time we ate, so we went to wal-mart for fabric. I also found the Cinderella costume pattern for Megan's dress, but won't be buying it until its on sale for $1.99 at Hancock. I have plenty of project stuff to work on for the moment anyway. Oh, and for my birthday, Robin paid for dinner. :) The conversation was great. We were both raised pretty legalistically. Not, extreme for either of us, but much more conservative than either of us believes today. We talked about raising kids (ezzos vs. attachement), alcohol and the Bible, sin nature, the pledge (all recent topics of interest at Yaaps.) We also caught up on life and talked about my kids. (but of course. LOL) Its nice to talk about this stuff with someone who agrees with me. Dawson was a joy as always. He sat and munched on pears, peaches, canteloupe, crackers, noodles, lemon, bread and cucumbers. (why can't I spell that word easily?)

When I called at a little after 8, Josh said that M had been asleep for around a half hour. They played at the park together and then had ice cream (which was her dinner btw). He took her over to the fire house where his friend was working on a benefit dinner but she fell asleep so they just drove on home. That isn't the first time she has fallen asleep without me, but it was the first time without me not being home. He said she didn't even ask about me once which is fine, I want her to be fine without me, but it makes me a little sad too. Last night ended in the best possible way. :D

Today we went to church. I was asked to consider helping teach the 2-3 year olds next year so I said I would like to, but told Tammy that I was planning on an eyebrow piercing and just wanted to make sure nobody was going to freak about it. I don't go to an ultra conservative church so I didnt' think it would be a huge issue, but thougth I should ask. She said it would be fine, our pastor is an ex-hell's angel and is covered in tatoos. He isn't proud of them anymore though so he keeps his arms and body covered. T is the wife of our children's minister and admitted she wanted a belly button pierce, but was scared of it hurting. No pain no gain, I say. :P
After church, we went to my parent's house for lunch. My daddy always makes breakfast for lunch on sundays. Today it was fried potatoes, french toast and blueberries and stawberries. Daddy made M an egg and Josh had a protein shake. He is still over there because he washed their deck today. He next has to seal it for them, but not today. Mom is bringing him home in a bit. I had to leave early because my daughter was a screaming unhappy tired mess. I don't know what to do with her sometimes. I reflected feelings, reassured her that Daddy was coming home in a little while. Spoke calmly to her and told her that it was ok to be unhappy with mommy, but screaming was not ok. etc.... The screaming just enraged me finally and I screamed back. :( I don't know why but she calmed down but I felt like shit. :( She is napping though so I know I did the right thing by bringing her home when I did. Still, I feel bad for the way that all happened.

Last but not least...this has really been bugging me. I can't figure out why Kelly Rippa hasn't learned a lesson from Kathy Lee Gifford. People get sick of seeing people talk about themselves. Go take care of your new baby and give us all a break!

2002-08-10T11:39:00.000-04:00

Josh must have read my mind
Because he brought home The Whole Nine Yards for us to watch last night. I had a huge stomach ache and headache so the evening didn't end as J had hoped. ;) I promised him tonight would be differnet. He gets off work at 5 and is going to take Megan off my hands and I'm taking Dawson to Hickory with my friend Robin to shop for fabric. I'm going to make children's aprons for a Christmas craft fair and she is making quilted pot holders to go with them. If I have time later this fall, I'm going to make some more of my crocheted hats to sell as well and our other friend LaShaya is going to make some granny square stockings. We really can't afford it, but I may just make a night of it and eat dinner at Cracker Barrel. We'll see.

I spent part of the morning going through fall and winter clothes for Dawson. I am pleased to announce that he needs NOTHING!!! This is a good thing of course, but I have no clue still what to get him (or tell others to get him) for his birthday later this month. Any ideas???

I promised Mimi that when her brother wakes up from nap that we would go to Nanas and refill her pool so she is walking around playing here and there and then coming up to me every 5 min asking when we can go play in her pool. (of course this is getting on my nerves 2 hours later!)

Last but not least, Bubbah did the cutest thing last night and I have to share. :) J was getting M to sleep pretty early and I peeked in to see how it was going and D started to holler (playing). He was in my arms so I just looked at him and put my finger up to my mouth and said "shhhhh." He smiled, put his finger IN his mouth and blew a raspberry. LOL Josh and I had him doing it all night and we would all 3 laugh at it.

2002-08-09T18:37:00.000-04:00

A wonderful opportunity

I don't think I've mentioned this yet so now is as good a time as any I guess. My midwife has asked me to assist her at a birth in January. I have not commited to anything yet because a few tiny details will make the difference and I'm kinda taking things as they come at this point. I got to meet the client today and from now on, once a week or so we will get together for a study period. I have no plans of becoming a midwife, not now anyway, but am excited at the opportunity to learn more about pg and birth firsthand.

We went to see the butterflys again this morning with Josh. It was nice to spend a little time with him outside the house. I may talk him into taking us out for ice cream or something a little later.

WTF kind of parent can pose little children (their OWN little children) in sexual poses and then publish them on the internet. I can't believe the kind of sickos that live in this world. I feel so sad for the little children who are treated this way by the people that they love and who are supposed to love them. One of these assholes is a child and family counselor and another one is a chiropracter so they aren't just everyday skuzz-balls. :( They just reported on the news that some members of the ring were making their children available for sex to other members. This is all just too sick to imagine.

2002-08-08T12:06:00.000-04:00

My living room is coming together

Mom got us the slipcovers for 65% off and also got the kids some clothes for next summer for 60-90%off at Kohl's too. After that was over I didn't feel like going anywhere else but to get my pillow fabric. The main fabric I chose was $5.99 a yard but the pieces I got for the backing and accent were only 25 cents a square! I got everything for less than $11!!!

My mom told me that my almost 10yo nephew is taking Prilosec for acid reflux. WTF? He is also on major asthma meds and they think he is ADHD (teacher diagnosed). I have never noticed him have a behavior problem but H (sis) swears that he has no allergies (according to an allergist).

Speaking of mom, she bought a brand new Honda Accord last week and someone smashed into her last nigh. Figures. Glad it wasn't her fault this time tho.

Josh came home really late last night after selling 2 vehicles. I was glad but when he said he had to work today (after never coming home on his day off yesterday) I sighed and he took it all wrong even after I explained that I was just disappointed since we havent' gone off anywhere all summer and I was hoping that today we could go to Blowing Rock or something. He went to bed pissed at me and woke up pissed at me. He told Megan to ask me at 8:00 to go outside to throw balls at the dogs. I told her not right now because 1)I was fixing my breakfast 2)I wasn't dressed and 3)It was chilly out. Well, M told him that I said not right now and he threw a hissy fit, acted the martyr and was late for work so M could have what she wanted. So immature. ITs not like I said we wouldn't play with the dogs at all today, but he had to prove that he was better I suppose. He called while we were at play group and appoligized to the answering machine.

2002-08-07T09:23:00.000-04:00

Ewwww!
I just fished a piece of balled up toast out of Megan's nose. Barf!

Josh is technically off today but went in for the morning so we are just hanging out. This afternoon, mom is taking me to get the slip covers at Kohl's and then to Sam's for dogfood. I might run in Target for a min too, but not for anything fun or glamorous. LOL

2002-08-06T17:39:00.000-04:00

I'm going to start with a song from Sunday School. Join in if you know the words...

The wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock and the rain came tumbling down.
The rain came down and the floods came up, the rain came down and the floods came up, the rain came down and the floods came up and the house on the rock stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand....
the rain came down and the floods came up...and the house on the sand fell flat.

Ok, now that thats out of the way...Its pretty common sense. You don't build houses without a firm foundation. The front page of our local newspaper had a story today about the new surge of building going on along the east coast from Maine through Texas. Under the headline it says "45 Million people hope it won't happen to them." "It" being hit by a hurricane. Basically these super rich people are building as close to the water and as close together as possible. These houses are literally PACKED together and in some towns, they are as big as 4 stories high. They are convincing themselves they are safe and that the hurricanes will never hit them. Thats fine if these idiots didn't affect the rest of us with their delusions of grandure (sp?). The first big problem with all these people living in one place during hurricane season is that when the signal goes out that they need to evacuate, there isn't a lot of time, and the roads in and out of these towns are small. On the Outer banks, it can take hours to get far enough inland to be safe and in a traffic jam, I don't want to think about how long it could take. The other problem is of course, the billions of dollars it can take to rebuild after a storm like Hugo or Andrew. These people are building right in harms way purposly and spending money I can't even dream about on the land and homes and when the go down, of course it becomes a federal disaster area and the super govt. armed with our tax dollars comes in and makes it all better. Now, to an extent, ok. Families that have lived on the coast for generations all year are one thing. Most of them don't own mansions and contribute to the community. They work there and raise their kids there, etc... The rich developers who build these homes should be responsible for their demise, not the rest of the country. JMNSHO of course.

2002-08-05T17:31:00.000-04:00

Geez its hot!

I am guessing that Yaaps is being switched to the new software. I'm going through withdrawls here. lol We got out a few times today. Went to art this morning. Megan made a bean/seed/cheerio collage. Later we went out to take Josh a set of keys he left at home and then got groceries. Blah day. Tomorrow should be even more boring. Not sure what we will do. Too hot to play outside and M's pool needs to be cleaned and refilled so thats probably out. Mom will be at my Grandma Snow's so going anywhere with her is out (although I really do need to go to Sam's club because we forgot dog food. guess that will wait til wed.) The good news of the day though is that I found the slip covers I want at Kohl's and they are 50% off this week. On Wed, they have senior cit. day and mom gets an extra 15% off so we are going to get them on wed. They are brown ultrasuede. I might go get the fabric I want to cover our pillows with tomorrow...

Dinner is pasta salad, garlic bread and chocolate chip cookies. mmmmmmmmmm Oh, I think its ready. :D

2002-08-04T18:40:00.000-04:00

We watched Orange County on Friday night. It was good, pretty funny, but not absolutly freakin' hilarious or anything. :p
Colin Hanks reminded me a lot of the elder Hanks in some scenes. If I closed my eyes I would have sworn I was listening to him talk. Jack Black MADE that movie though. My favorite line was when he was trying to get Colin Hank's charecter to feel better for not getting into Stanford and says (something like), "you don't need to go to college, I didn't go to college and look at me, I kick ass!" (JB's charecter is a druggie) Well, after seeing it, I got in the mood to see Saving Silverman again. I laughed harder last night I think than I did the first time I saw it. Jack Black is pretty funny in that one, but Steve Zahn is the best in that one. (Amanada Peet is hilarious as well and not too bad to look at either) I have loved him since the first time I saw That Thing You Do. (which will be the next movie I re-watch. :) Luckily I have it right under the TV so I dont' have to rent it. The next 2 movies I buy will be Saving Silverman and The whole Nine Yards which also stars Amanda Peet. (I think I have my own 6 degrees of seperation game going here. LOL) Matthew Perry is my favorite part of that one though.

2002-08-03T12:52:00.000-04:00

This has been the worst day
If I had somewhere to go, I would get the hell out of dodge for a week! I nixed the blackberry festival because of Megan's morning. She has tantrumed all day and its SO obvious she needs to sleep. She woke up Dawson (who had trouble going to sleep this morning due to a constantly ringing telephone) screaming at me a little while ago because I told her that she needed to tell me what she wanted for lunch and all she wanted was "BOOBY!" I'm at the end of my rope with her and meals. I'm to the point that I think she needs to sit in a high chair and eat because otherwise she doesn't eat anything at all. She didn't eat any breakfast except for a little milk. Last night she didn't eat but 4 bites of dinner and then daddy caved and bought her candy. (Big RED angry face goes here) After 20 min of screaming at me I called mom and said forget it. Well, I almost had her to sleep and my neighbor comes and rings the door and then pounds on it. She just wanted to visit. I got her back on the couch and nursing to sleep again and my daddy calls!! Now she is in the bedroom with the door shut because I need to be away from her and her screaming. If she sleeps we will go somewhere tonight, if she doesn't I told her we had to stay home. Shes quiet finally so maybe she will rest. If it weren't for D needing me, I would still be with her, but he was making it impossible for me to stay in there any longer. If Josh does that with the candy again, there won't be anymore outings for a LONG time!

2002-08-03T08:10:00.000-04:00

This morning mom and I are taking the kids to the First annual blackberry festival in Lenoir. My midwife, Courtney and her family are supposed to be there and I'll probably see some other people too. After naps we are heading to the IL's house for my birthday dinner. She is making me spaghetti and my parents are bringing over a chocolate cheesecake. This evening a group I enjoy is playing in the square in Lenoir. We plan on going as long as the kids are in good moods.

I swear, I quit cooking for Josh. He gets home and claims that he doesn't want to eat while the kids are awake or he will say hes not hungry yet or something. From now on, it goes in the fridge after I eat. I'm not gonna keep it warm for him or worry about it anymore. Plus, his mom (always the helpful one) keeps making roasts and shit and giving him so he just grabs some meat and might eat a bite or two of what I fix or makes himself a protein shake. Last night I made a homemade veggie pizza and some cheese sticks (string cheese baked inside crust) with marinara sauce. He ate one cheese stick and then warmed up some buffalo wings later that his dad made.Oh well, I have lunch for today, but I would have put it all away much sooner if he had just said he wasn't eating.

I didn't get any $ for my birthday, so I'll have to wait to start my shoe fund. Maybe my sister will give me cash...

2002-08-01T22:40:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to meee-ee
Happy Birthday to me.

To Do for Friday
Take kids to butterfly exhibit in morning
Fold laundry
Mop
Make homemade veggie pizza and breadsticks for dinner
Do something with these books that are taking over the living room!
Clean up kitchen throroughly

I think that other than the butterfly outing, we will stay home tomorrow and just rest/catch up. I've been shopping in hickory 3 times this week and we are all tired from it. I'm looking for slip covers for the loveseat and big chair. So far they are all the same as the surefit catalog I got, but Linen's and things have put out some coupons and I think the prices will be the best there. Kohl's is second runner up. I'm just not sure though. Most likely I'll get a tan colored canvas type cover. There are some really pretty choices out there though. I found some floral fabric that will make pretty accent pillows or maybe a curtain. (or both)

2002-07-31T22:18:00.000-04:00

Poor Dawson
Teething is a bitch. He got fussy this afternoon and I couldn't figure out what was wrong until I got a good look in his mouth. Poor baby has HUGE bulges in the bottom of his mouth (molars) and his top molars aren't all the way through yet. We went to the mall today and looked at the slip covers at Penneys. I didn't find anything exciting though. Mom wanted to go to Dillards for a few min so I let the kids play in the soft play area while she bought makeup and then she bought Megan a pair of dress shoes for fall/winter and I found a pair of Steve Madden shoes that I want. Got to start that fund now. :) They are mary jane style with a low back. Since my black all purpose wedges are 3 years old, I think they need to be retired soon (or taken out of heavy rotation. LOL) My birthday is tomorrow (the big 2-6) so maybe I'll get some cash to put away.

I forgot to blog about what Megan did Sunday night, I'll update now. She went to sleep at 4pm and stayed asleep until 11:30. After nursing it was obvious she was awake for awhile so I made her an egg and Josh pushed the couch and the loveseat together and turned on Toy Story for her to watch. She watched that and then wanted to watch her Bear in the big blue house tape and when I checked on them at 3:30, she was asleep curled up with her daddy. :)

Well, M is asleep finally so I'm gonna try to go get that "O" I missed out on last week. :p

2002-07-30T22:52:00.000-04:00

I just have to brag about my daughter

I took her to a tumbling class today at the resource center. Its the first time we have done anything like that. I would have taken her sooner but I thought she had to be 3 and was only told last week that I should go ahead and bring her. Well, she jumped right in and did her thing. She was to walk up these padded steps and then onto a small cube and flip down a ramp. She got up there and put her feet together, put her head down and literally sprung her feet over her head. The instructer looked at me and said, "where has she taken classes before." I laughed and said she had never had any other than what I had done with her at home. He was so impressed with her motor skills and coordination. There were kids much older than her that weren't jumping with their feet together. He told me when class was over (it was the last one btw until they get more interest) that if I was interested in getting her into more classes, that I could call the gym he works for and tell them that he said she was a natural athlete and advised me to get her into classes." :D I've been saying since she was first born that she would be a performer and since she was 1 that she was a natural gymnest. She loved the class she went to and wants to go to more. I just have to figure out now how I'm going to pay for them. It probably won't be more than about $30 a month and I can give up some things to do them for her but we are just so strapped now. We will probably go ahead with it because I feel it will be good for her in more ways than just physical.

Dawson is driving me nuts

All I can think of is that the leap he is taking physically in learning to walk has him fighting sleep. I faintly remeber Megan going through this but damn its driving me batty!

I can't find it at ABC's site but I just saw an add for a new reality type show coming out about a children's hospital in Arizona. When the hell did sick children become entertainment? Shows like this just further the god-image that dr's have in this country. Its the biggest form of idol worship I can point to.

Speaking of God (kinda. ;p), my mom told me that there were 7 churches in our county right now going through a split. From what I hear, one of the reasons they are splitting is over music. You have your old timeys that want to sing their ancient hymns that were written to impress kings and no one understands. Then you have your younger generation who want to move toward the praise/worship music (we have this and a band at our church). This is the type of service that appeals to younger people and we have a large population of older people in our church as well. I can hardly think that God looks down and is happy to see this and I can understand why people look at this and say if thats a Christian, I don't want anything to do with it. sad sad sad.

2002-07-27T23:36:00.000-04:00

All this talk about Dr. Marten shoes has me coveting them. I found the cutest slides with flower cut-outs on the side. I want them!!! Now about the $ for them. Mina swears that they have rip-offs at payless but I've not seen them. My b-day is next week but I still need to buy slipcovers. eh

Megan says she wants to go to church with us tomorrow. We'll see. I'm not pressing the issue either way.

I'm exhausted. I carried D in the sling tonight for the first time in ages. He wanted to nurse and Josh was weird about it. He stopped when we went back inside the restraunt after playing a few holes of putt putt and then inside he started biting me through my shirt. lol. Josh was like, lets not do this here. Yes, I bit his head off. (maybe it wasn't that severe, but I had some words with him)

D learned to clap today. :) Hes such a little man. I dont' want to call him a toddler any time soon...I refuse! Its been really hard realizing that he isn't a tiny baby anymore. Its been so fast! Megan is such a sweet little girl. She definitly has daddy wrapped around her finger.

Ugh, I'm so sleepy. I hope the kids sleep well again tonight! Night all!

2002-07-27T12:12:00.000-04:00

Reading my round of blogs has brought some thoughts to me that I'll just put down here real quick-like whild M nurses...

From thinking about the car industry in MI after visiting Loopy
My daddy worked for the GM Proving Grounds when I was really young. I grew up in Milford, MI where the proving grounds are and daddy was a high school social studies teacher but in the summer he occasionally took a second job to fill the time. He spent a few years doing real estate before I was born. Anyway, the PG has a really high hill with a steep slope which is the only place you can see the track from the outside. Everywhere else is covered with tall trees and thick brush. This is to keep spys out. They don't want pictures of the vehicles showing up in magazines before they present them to the public officially. Anyway, he was driving aroudn that track one day and he was supposed to be testing at a slow speed and stay at the bottom of the track. He decided to have some fun and gunned it. You have to be going over 100 MPH to hit the top of the track and I think he said he was at 115. He got to the top and the steering wheel popped off. :-0 He eased off the gas and coasted to a stop. He was scared shitless to say the least. I don't think anyone knew what he did.

From thinking about money woes and student loans after visiting Sarah
I just have to rant some more about my brother. He gets all this crap paid for by my parents while he is either not working and not trying to find work, or working and mismanaging his money. I'm not saying my parents do nothing for me, but I worked all through college and took out my own loans to go to school. I have a 2 year Associate of Arts degree BTW. Its just frustrating to think about the fact that I was responsible and have debt and we struggle to pay things but when he has a bill, they just pick it up and pay it for him. GRRRR

In other news
I have 2 coats of the tan color on my living room and a coat of blue on Megan's room. The clouds come next. :) She is so excited about her room. I think she might start sleeping in it when we move. I have a daybed that is in my old room at home that I plan on giving her and hopefully her quilt will be done. She said last night that her daddy would tell her pooh bear stories in that room. She evidently came to that conclusion herself because none of us told her that. Next week I need to put another coat in the laundry room and then start working in our bedroom. I painted it once, but the closets need to be done and the small bathroom has to be painted. I think the whole room could use a second coat anyway. I have 2 big blisters on my right hand that need to heal and my thighs are burning from bending down.

awwww...M is asleep. That rarely happens these days. Thats good tho, we are going out tonight so she should be in a good mood.

2002-07-25T19:58:00.000-04:00

Well, my hallway has 2 layers of a beautiful sage green and my laundry room has one coat of lilac. This lilac looks much darker than I anticipated, but I think that when I get the fireflys stensiled on the walls, they it will look complete.

2002-07-24T23:30:00.000-04:00

The town I live in is getting ready to have a vote on whether or not alcohol can be sold in the town limits. I can't vote because we don't live within the limits of the town. That said, either do my parents but my mom has joined forces with the other concerned Christians (mostly Southern Baptist) to have this referendum once again voted down. I just sent her this article and I hope she reads it carefully. Jesus consumed wine regularly. The Bible doesn't say that drinking is a sin. It does however warn against drunkeness which is what I suppose she thinks she is protecting the good people of Hudson from. If they can drive 5 miles up the road to Lowes Food in Lenoir and buy wine and beer, why can't they buy it in Hudson and let the revenues stay in Hudson? If they can drive 15 min to Hickory to have a beer with their meal, why can't Hudson have the chance to open a first rate resteraunt where people can get a drink with dinner? Why can't people see what is SO wrong with govt. mandated morality? What if the govt suddenly made it illegal for her to cut her hair because someone in a legalistic church somewhere decided that it was wrong. Why can't people think for themselves? I know it is hard for her because her dad was an alcoholic and commited suicide. But, its wrong for her to go around preaching that alcohol is a sin when there is no Biblical reference for that. Her dad was depressed and killed himself. I feel pretty strongly that anyone who turns to an addiction has other issues in their lives they are covering up. That doesn't freaking mean that everyone who has a drink with dinner is sinning. BTW, I attend a S. Baptist church, but thankfully it is NOT a legalistic one. If I EVER saw the ickyness that I saw in their church come up in ours, I would be gone in a nanosecond.

All that said, she obviously feels it is ok Biblically for her to enable my brother to be a slovenly ass. On Monday I went over there and mom and I took the kids shopping for a few things at Target and the HFS. When we got back to the house, it was 4 and he didn't wake up for 45 min later. I collected the kids soon after and went home. He quit his job (part time pizza delivery for papa john's) because he was going to start a new carreer at pizza hut (big eye roll). That fell through so he's back to sleeping all day and staying out all night. Last time, this part of the cycle lasted for at least 6 months all the while my parents kept him up, paid his bills and he did whatever the hell he wanted to. I swear, I think that my other siblings need to plan an intervention...I'm not sure who needs to be confronted though. My parents or my brother. I suggested that my mom get him up today and have him start priming her wallpaper so she can paint. She laughed and said "I can't make him do anything." Whatthefuckever.

All the priming was done today. So, tomorrow I will begin applying a lovely shade of sage to my hallway, a calming shade of tan to my living room, a bright shade of blue (think Carolina) to the kids room, and a happy shade of lilac to my laundry room. I am a happy girl now. I finally feel like I will live in a house that is all me.

2002-07-23T17:25:00.000-04:00

ROFL at Megan

She makes pictures for us and then she will say "Happy Father's Day." (to any of us...me, Josh, mom, dad, whoever) :D

Today has been long. It feels like 8:00 already and not because we got up early. The kids slept until 8am this morning and then we got ready quickly and met my MIL to go look at fabric and colors for the living room. We have the option of recovering the loveseat and chair (not the couch though, its too big) and we went to look at fabric. I found some I really loved but there wasn't enough. (doesn't it always go that way?) It was on sale for 5.99/yd too. So, now we are still at square 1. But, I found a nice accent fabric that had lots of beautiful colors that went the the wall color so I feel even more confident in the shade I picked (its a darkish tan color). The last sanding happened this morning so I get to start priming now. Exciting!!!

We spent 45 min at the library because Megan was watching a book on cd at the computer over and over. D hasn't napped this evening either so we are all pretty miserable from his whining. I made hush puppies with grated squash, mashed sweet potatoes and a salad of cukes, tomatoes and apples doused with ranch dressing for dinner. I'm thinking that later I will make some homemade donuts if I have the energy. Gosh I'm exhausted, mentally and physically.

Any yummy ideas for using all these squash and zucchinis? They are coming out of my freaking ears over here. (anyone want some??)

2002-07-20T23:40:00.000-04:00

Never mind about that job opportunity. Apparently they are sticking with the managers that they already have and the only thing they can offer is a sales job that might turn into a management job. :( I can't figure out why so many opportunities fall through for him. Everyone else we know have opportunities falling at their feet and they happen for them and poor Josh either doesn't get anything promising come his way or if we think it sounds good and he goes for it, it just leads no where. I hate feeling sorry for us and I'm tired of it but I need to vent I guess since it wouldn't be productive to vent at Josh. Poor thing tries as hard as he can. I feel sure he is in the right line of business for him right now. But, the economy has an enormous influence on how much business they do and this month has been really harsh. I hate to say this and would never repeat it to Josh, but I'm scared. Last month, they did a lot of business but despite selling more cars that the previous month, he made less money. We are getting by with the bills, but we are going to finally be moving soon and need new living room furniture because the stuff we have won't fit into the room. We also need to buy other things here and there for the house but the furniture is most important to me. Damn, I was hoping so bad they would ask him to be a manager. As much as I hated it the last time he was one, it wouldn't have to be forever and the salary would get us through this situation and help greatly. DAMN DAMN DAMN! I should be thankful he has a job, I know....sigh

In good news, Josh has lost 25 lbs so far. He has really lost a lot of inches, but because he is putting on muscle, the weight part doesn't matter that much because he is replacing the fat. I am so proud of him though. He is looking so much better and feeling so much better. He said last night that when he gets to his optimal shape and weight, he sees nutrition and weight loss counseling as something he would be interested in looking into doing for a living some day.

My best friend and I are going to get busy making things for some craft show booths this fall/winter. She is going to quilt pot holders and mitts and I am going to sew some childsize craft smocks and aprons. We also want to put together some cookie (dry ingrediant) jars and some bath salts and stuff. I have a few other ideas in my mind but am not sure if I'll have time for them. Things like little girl princess crowns and wands. We'll see how far we get with them. I'm excited about it.

2002-07-20T08:21:00.000-04:00

ITS ABOUT FREAKING TIME!!! I didn't realize until now that I could go into my template and archives and save changes to fix this freaking problem. I was about ready to scrap my blog and start over!

Lots of activity this week...

My children are not allowed to be around my younger brother anymore. (see the relationship forum at yaaps for details as my time is short this morning.
We have sheet rock in our house! FINALLY!!!! Praise GOD! :D and yes, I will be leaving both kids for a few hours a day to start priming and painting my walls. FINALLY!!! They will be right next door playing with their Nana
Josh may have a job opportunity for the near future.
I think 2 of my tomato plants have a disease or something. The fruit all start cracking at the top as they ripen. I'm bummed. I think one of my squash plants has a problem too.
Megan has started saying she wants to ride her bike and then immediatly after sitting down and taking about 3 peddles, she stops and gets off with her head down and shoulders slumped. She won't tell us anything is wrong but she says all the time that she loves her bike. I wish I knew what was wrong. I hope she gets over this soon because she was so cute peddling her little bike down the driveway, in one garage door and out the other and back up the driveway again. She also still doesn't like church so I guess she will stay with my MIL again tomorrow morning. I'm going to leave Dawson with my MIL on wednesday night next week and try to take her to class and stay with her and see if she can warm back up to the idea.
I missed out on a really good "O" last night when Dawson decided he needed me. UGGGGHHHH!!! (TMI???) ROFL
Mimi got a new pool yesterday so thats where we will be if anyone needs me. ;-)

Tonight is our MOPS family picinic. I hope it isn't sweltering. Its good to be back.

2002-07-14T22:40:00.000-04:00

test

2002-07-12T22:53:00.000-04:00

The flutter-by exhibit was wonderful. It was a small outdoors (greenhouse type) area that was set up with lots of gardens and a small downhill stream as well as a small goldfish pond in a big metal trough. THe lady in charge would squirt nectar on your fingers and they just flew by and landed on you. As soon as we went in, one flew up to Dawson's bright yellow shirt and landed right on him and then flew over to Megan's hand. She wanted them all to come to her after that (and I had told her she wouldnt' be able to catch them...boy was I wrong. LOL). I had to stop her from grabbing them by the wings and a few of them didn't like her after that. :-P Right before we left, one flew by and landed right on my daddy's bald head. We also went to a kinetic science room that had ramps that Megan had fun rolling balls down along with some other stuff that we enjoyed and then I let the kids play in the preschool room. There are puzzles and puppets as well as climbing stuff and a ball pit. I'm going to take them back regularly on fridays now. The art museum is right next door and even though that isn't my thing, the lady told me there was a children's exhibit on the second floor so we may give it a shot next time since M enjoys art so much.

After dinner, my mom went to the Vanity Fair sale (they came back this weekend) with us and bought the kids a pile of stuff for later. I prefer to have used stuff for them to play in, but I like for them to have a few new things for appropriate times. So, Megan is set for next summer and Dawson has an adorable outfit for this fall and hopefully next spring too. (its pants with a tee)

The drywall people came this morning finally. They were supposed to be here tuesday but they had truck trouble or something. ya ya whatever. At least they are busy now. I had hoped I could start painting on monday, but I will be patient as hard as it will be.

Mina, I can't remember where I read it this morning, but I read that in cultures where soft shoes or no shoes are worn, flat feet are mostly unheard of. I figure that in the winter, he will need something once he starts walking around outside, but for all other times I'm going to keep him in soft shoes. I am not sure about which ones anymroe though. I've looked at so many differnet kinds but 2 of them were in australia and the UK and I'm scared of what shipping would be.

2002-07-12T09:10:00.000-04:00

Well it happened
Megan said yesterday that she didn't like Dawson after I let him hold one of her bangle bracelets. :( I called Josh and he said they would spend some time together after he got home from work. They were gone until 10 last night and she was beat. I'm glad they could go somewhere just the 2 of them. I think that will be happeneing more often from now on.

Today we are going with my mom to the butterfly exhibit at the science museum. Megan should enjoy that.

Dawson is waking up at 6 again these days. UGH!

I've decided to order Dawson the Buskins sandals. Putting him in flat shoes seems wrong. I don't know why Josh has flat feet but I've started reading that there could be a connection between that and wearing hard shoes too early. I hope Megan doesn't end up with any problems since I did put her in hard soled walking shoes.

2002-07-10T23:42:00.000-04:00

Does anyone have an opinion on these soft-soled shoes?

Buskins

2002-07-10T23:30:00.000-04:00

Well, I found someone's moon
It surely can't be my own can it??? I was prepared to go for at least a year PP without my period since I'm nursing 2 kids...but no it didn't happen. I've actually felt it coming on for quite awhile. I've had signs for a few months but thought that since it hadn't returned thus far that I had several more months. Maybe I won't be regular for awhile. Oh well, we shall see.

Megan was a sweetheart today. When I can really be with her one on one and enjoy what a baby-doll she really is, its such a joy. Tonight I got D to sleep a little earlier than normal and since she took a late nap, she was wide awake and we talked and read stories together. She knows part of "The 3 Bears" by heart and she read along with me. I called her my baby girl at some point and she said "no, mimi is baby-doll." :) OK then. Then she was siting on the couch and she started singing, "duh duh duh duh elmo's world." I'm so thankful for her.

I have a little battle going in my head over Dawson and shoes. He has wide feet both in the width of his foot and from the top of his foot to his sole. He just has really fat feet. Anyway, I know that if I were to put some shoes on him he might start standing and walking better. But its HOT outside and I don't even wear shoes besides sandals. (He has a pair but they don't stay on his feet well at all, I just don't bother much). On top of that issue, I'm worried about what a good pair of shoes might cost for him. Are the soft soled shoes just as good for early wallking shoes or does he need something with a hard sole?

2002-07-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

We watched The Mothman Prophecies this weekend. I really enjoyed it until of course I get online and find out that the movie was WAY different than the book/real accounts of what happened. Why does Hollywood do that? I will never forget how mad I was after I saw Huck Finn (the Disney version) in high school after reading the book. It was horrible but of course if you haven't read the book you don't know and now millions of kids who will most likely see the movie first will (hopefully) read the book afterward and won't like it as well as the movie. Anyway, the real account of what happened was interesting enough IMO to make a movie out of. I can't understand why they had to invent charecters and subplots that never happened. A few of the inventions were good story lines and enjoyable but when you know that the movie is supposed to be "based" on true events and then find out that the entire beginning of the movie never happened (at least it didn't from any account I readd online, I haven't gotten ahold of the book yet), well...that just sucks. LOL!

Life with Megan has been very difficult these days. Being 2 1/2 must be hell on a kid. I feel bad for her because she is dealing with a lot these days but her daddy and I are just at the end of our rope because she doesn't listen to anything we say until its too late and we feel that removing her from the situation is the only way to get any changes made. I posted about it at yaaps tonight and am getting the situation into perspective, but its been SO hard. I probably didn't help matters by putting away her beloved tiny potty, but she didn't seem too upset past a little pouty lip and a "bye bye tiny potty." We were both tired of tripping over it. I also hated emptying it and was tired of splattering pee everywhere or dodging Dawson away from it. If she had acted upset, I would have let her keep it and tried again later. I am SO glad that thing is out of my floor though. Our bathroom was too small already! Other than her persistance, she has started saying she doesn't like things that she normally loves. Such as church, her Barney video, mashed potatoes, corn, juicy fruit chewing gum (lol)...the list goes on and on. Today she whined all morning that she wanted to ride her bike and then when I finally was able to take her, she sat down on it and then got off and said "mimi don't know how." (her shoulders hunched over and a pout on her lips)

Dawson has been so fun lately. He "wallers" around on us and has really started to attach to Josh in the evenings. He gets so happy to see him. Its cute to see the kids play together...of course until playing turns to fighting but thats another story that I just don't have the energy for tonight. Its 1 min til tomorrow...goodnight!

2002-07-05T23:50:00.000-04:00

We spent the morning at home. A representative from South Western Publishing came by and I bought (spent way more than I should have) a set of books for the kids to enjoy. There are 6 books centering around natural science, the body, history and geography. They look interesting and fun to read. Hope I'm right. Afterward, my mom and dad and I took the kids to Sam's and then we had dinner with them. This morning, my mom woke up and came downstairs to see my brother asleep on the couch. Evidently he had moved back in in the middle of the night. I knew he wouldn't make it on his own and he never really was. My parents were still paying his bills because of course his part time pizza delivery job doesn't do anything. Here is a 23 year old who moved out and didn't even tell our parents where he was living. His bills come to them and they pay them. He didn't ask if he could move back in, he just did it. Then his work calls and mom tells him he is supposed to be at work to put out flyers and he says "Its too hot and I'm tired." The jerk was still on the couch asleep at 3:30 when we got home from Sam's club and then has the gaul to order my mom to go downstairs and do what she has to do to get his work shirt clean and also fussed at my daddy because he didn't let HIS dog out of the house. The very dog that my mom doesn't even want living back in her house. Hes a JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK!!! Of course I KNOW that its their fault for letting him abuse them this way for so long. I told her that I thought there needed to be a rule that if he lived there, 1)he HAS to sleep in his bed 2)he HAS to work full time and 3)he HAS to help out around the house. I know I really shouldn't tell them out to run their house, but I am just SO sick and tired of his lazy whiney ass around their house. Now that he lives there, I won't be taking the kids for long visits and that will suck for megan but I refuse to let them be around him any more than they have to be. :(

Friday Five

1. Where are you right now? In my living room at the computer desk. David Letterman is on.

2. What have you lost recently? a piece of plastic that goes down the middle of Megan's kite. She REALLY wants to fly it too. :(

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? Does that embarrass you now? Amy Grant or the Monkees probably. I don't care for Amy Grant anymore but still love the Monkees. :)

4. What is your favorite kind of writing pen? Anything that has ink in it that is close by.

5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Breyers Coffee or Cookies and Cream.

2002-07-04T09:27:00.000-04:00

feeling a little better

The kids woke me up at 6am yesterday and both of them screamed their heads off when Josh left for work. I was just in a grumpy mood.
Mom and I went to the health food store and Big Lots yesterday. I take my mom along to help with Megan but its usually me doing all the work so I don't know why I bother. Growing up, mom lost us all the time. I got lost in Sea World in a sea of people after the show was over. I got lost again in a mall in Indiana when I was probably 3. I remember this one. I remember being lost of a little while at Disney World. The worst time was when my brother was a baby. Mom lost him in a mall and an hour later the security found a woman carrying him around. I think she was trying to leave with him. He was 1 I think at the time! Last summer in Big Lots, Megan ran around a corner and I yelled at mom because she was closer to Megan and she stopped to look at something on an aisle. Mom won't be allowed to take Megan out in public alone I'm afraid. At least not until Megan knows the importance of staying close. In the hfs, M rode in mom's cart for the majority of the time. But, when we got to the bulk section, M wanted down and the next thing I knew, she was eating granola out of the bins. :-0 So, I bought her some vanilla/cherry flavored snacks and she was happy. I can't believe how much stuff cost in there. Then we went to Big Lots and the disaster started. I needed to look for sposies and sposies only, but once inside, we have to comb every inch of the store. Megan was running around wild and every time I started looking at something, mom would quit watching her and I would have to pay attention to both kids and then I feel upset because they have some really nice quality clothes on sale and I can't really afford to buy anything. Mom got M some stuff for next summer but I gave up on getting D anything because I don't know what size he will be in. I was bummed. We get outside and M wants to ride the little carosel, Dawson is melting down and my formerly made up face is dripping in sweat. Why do I bother? I get to go grocery shopping alone this morning when J gets home from the gym.

We are just going to his parent's house today and my mom is joining us. Daddy's American Legion team is playing today so he won't be joining us.

2002-07-03T07:39:00.000-04:00

where are all my friends
sniff

I was sick for 2 days with mastitis and not one hug or feel better soon. :(

2002-07-02T16:25:00.000-04:00

still sick

I thought I could manage getting out of the house today. I took the kids down to my IL's and put D down for a nap so I could water my plants. By the time I had watered my veggies and a few flowers I felt achy all over again and had to go inside. I felt dizzy too. So, I came right back home when D woke up instead of shopping for the things I needed at the HFS. That will wait for tomorrow I suppose. I really didn't treat this as well as I normally do with the C and echinacea. I had to end up taking grapefruitseed extract. BLECK! I felt much better within a few hours though so I suppose its worth it. :P The kids played around me while I laid on the couch watching Trading Spaces from the weekend. Then they went into our bedroom and Megan stripped her bed and then tipped the whole thing over! Then she got on our bed and stripped the crib mattress. If I hadn't felt so bad I would have just let her play like that and stayed in there, but that wasn't going to fly today. My head was pounding.

American Idol is tonight. I'm so excited! LOL! Apparently one of the finalists is being disqualified. Josh thinks it was all set up but I don't believe it. Maybe I'm too naive. (well I know I am but I feel pretty sure in this case that I'm right.)

Mom is coming over in a few minutes to fix us dinner. I'm going to take it easy for the rest of the night so that tomorrow I really will feel better!

2002-07-01T22:58:00.000-04:00

I definitly have been fighting off mastitis all day. :( I have felt like shit and just when I thought I was past the achyness, it came back again. Right now I feel mildly bad so I'll be doping up on advil before bed. I think this has happened because Megan isn't nursing to sleep anymore and my supply hasn't adjusted. Plus Dawson sleeps on the side that wasn't sore and Megan isn't nursing as much during the night. So, hopefully things will even out for me soon and we won't have to go through this again. Dawson doesn't seem to be nursing for as long when he does wake up to nurse either. I do need to get out tomorrow though because we are out of nighttime diapers (sposies) and I want some Spirutine. Being cooped up all day isn't good for me. All I had to do was call Josh though and ask him to come home early and bring a pizza and my wish is his command.

He said that attitudes around Valley Chev haven't been as high as they were today in a long time. I hope it stays that way. Hitting the 80 car point has been a goal for a long time now. Before Tim bought the store 4 years ago, they were a 100+ car a month store, but that hasn't been true in a very long time. Maybe now things will continue to pick up. Basically now, Jody gets to tell Tim "up yours" because he didn't think the sales staff had it in them. I really could care less to be honest. My attitude when it comes to that place sucks and I could care less if the place burned down tomorrow. (better hope that doesn't happen though now that I've said that. LOL!) Josh didn't hear from the person he called about the other job though so he is giving himself 30 days to see real changes in his attitude/sales/motivation and if he doesn't find that things have really improved in all 3 aspects he said he would actively persue something new. If he stays he said that he would (for reasons I understand) wait until January to look into other avenues.

He gave his parents the cruise tonight. I can't wait for them to get to go. They were SO thankful that we gave it to them.

2002-07-01T08:01:00.000-04:00

The Dealership hit their goal

If everything sticks this morning, everyone in sales wins a cruise to the bahamas. Josh gave ours to his parents. I am happy to do that considering all they do for us but dammit, I want a vacation too!!! I have given up 2 because we couldn't afford to go. Oh well, we need the extra money for new furniture anyway. :/ So, in order to hit the goal, Josh didn't take ANY time off last week. He was there everyday including yesterday after church. I can't complain becauase he sold something, but there has been one really really unhappy 2 year old in this house lately. He is off thursday instead of wed this week but we have no plans. We don't have a partying family of friends. If we were in our house I would have hosted something but oh well.

Speaking of the house, we have settled on a silvery-grey color in the living room. After I figure out what our furniture situation will be, I will choose other colors in the room. Our large entertainment center is a forest green color so it will need repainting too. I had a great idea for our play room yesterday. I am going to periodically mark the kids height on the walls and on the same day I will make their handprints next to the marks.

I woke up this morning feeling mastitisy. I hope its nothing but a sore neck and back. (as well as maybe a slightly clogged duct that is now unclogged but left a sore spot)

2002-06-29T15:42:00.000-04:00

Mimi: Make Mimi happy mama!
Me: Make you happy?
Mimi: Aye (means "yes")
Me: How can Mama make you happy?
Mimi: More booby mama! More booby! (big wide eyes and grin)

2002-06-28T23:07:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching yesterday's episode of Trading Spaces (MIL tapes them for me). Laurie did nothing but hold her hand on her barely pregnant belly. Every time they showed her she was holding her stomach. You couldn't even tell that she is pg yet! Why didn't she just wear a shirt with screen printing on it that says "LOOK AT ME I'M PREGNANT!" Sheesh.
(There is no evidence that I ever did this and if anyone says that I did, I will vehemently deny it! LOL!)

2002-06-28T07:58:00.000-04:00

To Do today

Find a plant or other birthday present for GG
Feed my parents animals
Floors
~~Buy socks for Josh~~
Buy groceries

2002-06-28T00:05:00.000-04:00

Dawson seems to be getting his first molars. :( He has huge red bumps in his gums and one appears to be bruised. Poor guy.
Megan went with her nana to Sam's Club today to get a birthday cake for her GG. When they were leaving, I yelled "bye honey!" Terri stopped and said "mimi said 'bye honey mama!'" LOL!
We had a birthday dinner for J's Nanny tonight. She turns 71 tomorrow. J was going to come home early but it didn't work out that way unfortunatly.
Blah, nothing interesting really to say. I should be in bed.

Oh, btw, I LOVE my hair color and as soon as I can find the battery charger, I'll take a pic with our digital camera for all my curious readers. :)

Goodnight